De pits of Mamafai's life

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2011-09-08T19:34:00.002+08:00

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2009-05-31T14:38:00.000+08:00

testing

..: Making of Wedding Cake :..

2009-03-05T17:52:00.002+08:00

One of the "preparations" in the Wedding that demands utmost attention and comments from the guests is the making of wedding cake! It is also one of the items of wedding photographer's paradise. He would click it from several angles.

After all, a skilled cake designer makes a lasting impact on the guests. Her visiting card will be demanded by many, if the taste is extraordinary!You have to be a creative artist to be a good cake-maker. You will have your briefing from the groom/bride, but that is only one part. You have to form a total picture, taking into consideration their suggestions and views. The important question of the day would be, "Who made the cake?"

If it is a frown, you are out. If it is a smile, you are most welcome!

In theme weddings, the importance of the cake matters a lot. In medieval cakes, it is done with pearls and a crown. The adventure-loving couple prefer a bike or a helicopter or a plane! A diamond lover, more exactly a diamond merchant would like to have a big diamond, on the wedding cake.

In Victorian Weddings, a bow or rose qualities of that era could be well engrossed on the cake. It can contain anything. From a simple beautiful rose, bird-of-paradise, sunflower, replica of the bridal bouquet to anything of the latest craze and appeal!The appeal of the season also counts. Indeed the cake-planning is done weeks in advance. The cake-maker like to make each marriage, each cake, memorable. It is her business as well as personal satisfaction. If she can make hundreds of hearts happy, I think that it is her best reward.Making a wedding cake is no cakewalk for the cake-maker!

Till the last moment, she has her anxieties unrest!A wedding cake is not complete, without the wedding cake topper. It is the final round for completion of the cake. Here again, the choice before the cake-maker is endless. In fine line, what is a wedding cake? It is a mixture of beauty, skill and imagination- and your reward! The appreciation of the bride and the groom!

It's tough but it's definitely a right decision...and I love my work to the max though I am still not a good Cake Maker.

..: It has to be said.. :..

2008-12-15T23:50:00.000+08:00

You can say whatever you want, any way you want, about anything you want.. I don't give it a damn! There will be NO discussion.

Just because you think something, doesn’t mean you have to share that thought. You’re not being honest! You're cruel..The ironic timing of your illnesses is that you are a goddam pathological liar!

In the grand scheme of things, your daily life are so superficial that it takes all my effort to not puke. If you think that I’m not paying enough attention to you, it’s because I’m trying very hard to simply ignore you.

So stop invading my life! Think about it...

..: Sigh.. :..

2008-09-17T06:29:00.000+08:00

I've been manic the last couple of days - and my kids are starting to lose patience with my sorry self. I've told them "No. Not now. mama's busy. I can't. I don't. Later. Wait."

I know I've been expecting a lot, and giving the bare minimum. I have a lot of catch up work to do, and while I sit in front of the computer trying to deliver some of the work I've promised to other people, my children have been repeatedly pushed away. Chubby hands reach for the mouse in frustration, and I have found myself snarling at the owner of those delicious smiles "don't touch."

My youngest is going through a big indentifying phase. Everything gets a label, and he usually prefaces the label with "My." My shoes. My toy. My things.

He managed to clamber up into my lap while I tried in vain to continue typing. He sucked his thumb and rested his cheek against my chest as I tried to work around him. After a minute or two of that, I began to gather him up into my arms so that I could once again find another place to put him, away from my working zone.

He grabbed both my ears in his tiny hands and put his nose to my nose and said "My Mama." I couldn't help it. I just started to cry. I settled myself on the bed with my baby clinging to me, with a ferociousness that let me know I've put him down and walked away one too many times in the last couple of days.

We sat there, just leaning on each other, breathing in tandem. My other sons approached, and quietly sat next to me and pulled my arm around their shoulders. They melted into my sides and we just sat quietly together. All kids gave me gentle, almost subconcious kisses on my arms, my shoulders, whatever they could reach. It was a benediction, full of the promise of forgiveness for the lack of care I sometimes take with the precious gifts I have been given. :(

Oh.. thanks girlfren for driving me around to complete some errands yesterday... Mission accomplished at last.. and I'm glad you love it! Have a safe flight today and enjoy your shopping spree again!

..and the much awaited phone call came thru this morning.. hope everythings gonna be ok and I am so in FIATITUDE mood today!

..: Half Way There :..

2008-09-09T00:04:00.000+08:00

Okay, here I go.

I'm taking a big deep breath and jumping off with both feet. I m half way there..half way thru the first phase...

I'm pretty excited about it...

..: What Have I Been Up To ? :..

2008-07-28T23:36:00.001+08:00

These....

Congtulation again to Norfa and Bai!

..: Busy Mode :..

2008-05-17T09:02:00.001+08:00

Oh no I have not stop blogging.. just that the time never permits.. with the exams and all.. and thank god its finally over.

It has been a pretty good year for me so far. A busy one? A-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y, but it held many wonderful surprises, leaving me both astounded and filled with happiness to the brim. The next few weeks will be filled with ever so many deadlines, probably more than I can count with my two hands. And I will try my hard to not loose my grip.

Consuming most of my energy right now. I'm not really complaining about the additional workload, although at times I am struggling a bit. I hope new ideas will keep coming in. Brainstorming can be a real pain but the end result can be very positive.

So far this has been my fav....

To my dearest hubby..thank you for the wonderful support.. I would never be able to make it without you ... To my dearest boys.. thank you for the understanding... I know sometimes your're being neglected but I promise I will always make it up for it...

..: Happy Birthday Afdlin! :..

2008-03-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

14th March 2008 - He turns two!

Happy Birthday, Afdlin. It’s been a fun ride so far. I cannot wait for the rest of it!

And I love all three of them...

..: The State of Health and the Mind :.

2008-03-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

How am I feeling now? Well, thank you for remembering I have been under the weather. Finally, finally I went to the doctor again and was given that antibiotics which has helped immensely with the fever. But the fact that it has helped, the cough is still there. .

But because I am feeling much better, I feel a bit more resolved to do….something. I don’t know what, exactly. There’s a kind of restlessness that overcomes me whenever I recover from a sick spell, or return from holidays. A desire to function as a vital, impassioned, vibrant, person. To work, and create, without being shackled down.

On a better note, I’m starting to feel better about work. 2 upcoming projects. I'll be seeing one of the customer later at 10.30am. I am still not able to sleep now. The last time I felt this way was when I went for a job interview. I hope everything will go well later with my presentation.

Wish me luck...

..:It's That Season :..

2008-03-04T20:29:00.000+08:00

Yep, Flu season! The kids been sick since last week one after another. I thought we were doing well until Saturday night I started with a cough. Then came the fever...

I'm still feeling feverish..oh the headache and bodyache is killing me...

The medicine finishing.. I think I have to make a trip back to the doctor tomorrow for the antibiotics..

Oh this is really bad.. I have to be up and running for this weekend's order.... :(

..: Sometimes I Struggle :..

2008-02-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

I noticed that lately when I sit around on the floor and watch my kids play, I feel a slight resentment. Like I should be doing something better with my life. Like I'm just wasting time.

I didn't feel this way when Asyraf was small. I sat around with thim and played and didn't think twice about it. I also didn't have business to run.

Nevertheless, I tell myself that I'm a stay at home mom for a reason. I don't want someone else raising my kids. I don't want to miss the firsts. I would miss my kids and do enjoy being around them all day (for the most part). They are so creative and make me so proud everyday. But I also feel happy to have my business, it's important to me.

I guess I just need to focus on the fact that my kids are only small for such a short time and I want to enjoy them. To not get upset when I'm laying on the floor and they are crawling and jumping all over me and I have other "work" to do. To stop and watch the beautiful children God gave me. I know I will want these days back when they are all grown up.

So there...my struggle put into words. I already feel better and ready to face tomorrow.

..: Post Birthday Update :..

2008-02-27T21:35:00.000+08:00

Thank you all so much for your birthday wishes. The comments, emails, calls, smses and cards meant the world to me. I didn’t realize how much I needed to feel the love, baby!

Now let me share the gifts I've got....

And if anyone asks (because many have), I am 37years young and damn proud of it! And the sms from Perth really made my day! Thank you dear friend..and I miss you too!

..: My Week... mine, mine, mine:..

2008-02-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

Firstly..it is so refreshing to have this multiply layout changed. Now I am so motivated to blog regularly..heheh

Well, it is Thursday. The fourth day of my birthday week.

Yes, I said week.

Oh sure, everyone has a birthday. But me, I like to have the whole week be all about me.

Okay, you didn’t really think I was that arrogant did you.? Actually, coincidence has it that I have a couple of fun things planned for the week that just so happen to occur the same week as my birthday. But hey, I prefer to think of it as all about me! Wouldn’t you?

But, if you really want to, you can mark your calendars for Saturday, the 23rd. That is the day that we shall here on out refer to as The Day The World Was Blessed With Me! heheh

Last night, I started my birthday season by going out to eat with some friends, friends whom I've known for many years! I think I have taken the fact that I have had the same good friends for many years for granted that I understood just how fortunate I am. Thank you friends for the great gift, love and your friendship....

So I've received my pre-birthday gifts from DH earlier. A pair of Mark and Spencer jeans and he had paid for that lil trip with the boys this weekend. I know its nothing great but I am so looking forward for the family rebonding. The shop will be close for 3 days and I hope to bring back a lil more ideas for the business after the brain had its lil rest. ;)

..: Join me in my kitchen :..

2008-02-19T15:35:00.002+08:00

I was having a company for tea earlier, so I decided to go with one of my easiest menu. The pastry dough was prepared a couple of weeks before. All I had to do was to thaw the pastry, cut, fill it up and bake!

I had it with Lingam's Chilli sauce and I consider it to be a little slice of heaven! :)

..: Break a Leg! :..

2008-01-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

This was what that kept me busy pass few days! A horrified experience. I am glad he is such a brave boy but I know no words can explain the pain!

..: BACK :..

2008-01-10T13:53:00.000+08:00

Yes..I am back...

A nice little break..though I missed the kids so much. We were upgraded to a villa with private beach! Can't asked for more...we shall do it again...but not so soon :(

The Beach...

The Open concept toilet ...

..: Thinking Things :..

2008-01-04T22:12:00.000+08:00

This is good...

I'm feeling pretty content with life at the moment. The kids are adjusting to back to school and I hadn't realized how nice it is to only hear 1 demanding voice instead of 3 most of the day.

Mentally I'm exhausted too. I have several tasks that keeps me busy these few weeks.I told DH how much I needed a break. He thinks a short getaway will do me good. My parents had agreed to watch the boys so it'll just be the two of us. Though I feel so much guilt as this will be the first time I am leaving them behind... I would really need this time to recharge.

It'll be a good bonding with DH too. It had been a long time since we had our little time together.

So I'm going to enjoy this 3 days as much as possible afterwhich I would have to focus before I go forward.

..: First Lunch Date for 2008 :..

2008-01-03T20:33:00.000+08:00

My first lunch date for 2008. Great company! I simply love these 2 ladies... :)

Trina : Thanks for the chocs..it was hmmm.. I had to hide it from others..heheh

Oh and Rayne..thanks for the yummylicious Lopez.. it was so delicious! and thanks again for dropping by to send them..

..: Mister Afdlin :..

2007-12-19T00:51:00.000+08:00

i just LOVE this little guy....
his smile...
his giggle....
his little white body (that is growing by the minute!)...
his lips...
his teeth...
his beautiful eyes...
the way his little voice sounds when he has discovered a new word...
the way he asks for a "huv"....
when he tell me "i yuy you" ...
how his body slams me with his belly if i am sitting on the ground...
how at 21 months we can already tell he has his daddy's arm!
how he looks at night when he's sleeping, so peaceful and angelic....
i love that he's my baby
my mister afdlin

..: I Can't Think of Any :..

2007-12-04T09:30:00.000+08:00

Grumpy and out of sorts these few days.

Some things that happened, it was just kind of disturbing, and, it's still on my mind for whatever reason.

I shouldn't have gone to the wedding. If not for the hosts who have invited us..I wouldn't want to see those people!! It's upsetting to see how these people are treating my mom! For goodness sake..go sort your own problems with your own family and don't keep pointing fingers at my mom. And use my mom as a reason for your own doing! Don't you realise what you have done???

Oh.. and its not our fault that we didn't attend your previous wedding. Your invitation card didn't arrive and its no reason that you couldn't even lift up the phone to invite us! Don't you remember that we were the closest things to you all before??? And Allah tu maha besar... I saw you with others just a few blocks away with my own two eyes and yet you couldn't come over to invite us???

And there is a LIER!! (or best to describe you as KAK NAM!) yet to tell me she only posts all her cards and don't do that personally.. You can tell that to a kid but not me!

I now realise how much you all hate my mom... I can still remember how important she was to you when she was well... and now?? despite of how she is being treated now...she still reminds me to salam you people when I see you... she always reminded us not to be involve in whatever saga you guys are in now!

Like what DH told me... its not worth it for me to be sad or upset about this... I am glad I still have my family, my mom and my dad that that stands by me all the time... and raise me to be a better person everytime and insyallah my children will not be raise to be one of those!

..: Happy 7th Birtday Syifa :..

2007-11-16T01:38:00.000+08:00

This was done for dh's niece Syifa. It was a surprised bday gift from us.

I was so glad she loved it.. in fact the whole family loved it :)

It was worth the effort..

Happy Birthday Syifa Nurulhuda!

The birthday photos can be found here..

.: He Did It! :..

2007-11-12T13:45:00.000+08:00

Well.. he did it again! Band 1 for all the subjects and he's in top 3.

Syukur Alhamdullilah... so we going out to celebrate tonight...Yipee!

..: If I die, go love someone else :..

2007-11-02T21:58:00.000+08:00

Why does everyone say to their spouse that if they die, they want them to go on and find another love? I'm serious. It seems that every couple who has this conversation... the potential "what if" conversation about death.. they all come to the same conclusion- "be happy. love again."

Why? I mean, it's not that I would want my husband to be miserable, but why can't he be happy and alone?! lol - I'm serious though! I mean, I get it that no one wants the love of their life to be miserable forever. You don't want them to be so consumed with grief that they stop living their life. I get all that. but why can't he find happiness by himself? why does he HAVE to love someone else?

I realize how ridiculous this sounds as I type it. I realize how selfish and probably immature, or something as equally sucky. But it's just that when I think about the type of love that dh and I share... I simply don't ever want to be replaced. even when I'm dead. I guess there is a part of me that feels that if he could just move on and love again, then he really didn't love me the way he claimed to in the first place. I feel like the type of love we share isn't something that someone else could just come in replace. I do not have shoes that any other woman in this world could fill. and if he did just move on, and truly love someone deeply again, I would in a way feel like our love was somehow fraudulent. I KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THIS ALL SOUNDS.

The reason probably stems from the fact that I have always wanted to be different. I mean, what girl doesn't want to be that one girl for her guy? ladies, you know what I'm talking about here. . You're the one who makes him feel things he swore he'd never feel. You want to be the one who is different. the one who matters. the one he wouldn't ever be able to get over if he ever lost- in every sense of the word.

So I ever did talk to dh before if I die, I'd want him to be happy.. but loveless.. he just laughed. then he said something about he would not remarry again.. yah right!. I told him if he ever does, I would come back and he would not have a peaceful life... and he kept laughing!.. I do sound childish right? ehehe..

Am I really the only person who feels this way? does everyone in the world truly wish more love for their significant other if they weren't around?

..: I'm So Not Pregnant :..

2007-11-01T19:05:00.000+08:00

but I'm very emotional.. and my stomach hurts.. and I threw up this morning.. and ever since then, my stomach isn't 100% non-queesy.

Did I mention I am emotional? i cried listening to the radio this morning. why? because some callers said something sad and she was crying. and i had to change the station to not full out bawl. and then someone else in Warna said something sad too, and my eyes welled up with tear and stupid tv shows make me cry. I mean, more than usual. I am emotional. and moody. and apparently bitchy (although i disagree, but what do i know?)....

What the hell is wrong with me if i'm not freaking pregnant?

..: Re-wired :..

2007-10-30T07:39:00.001+08:00

The visit to the dentist yesterday was a nightmare! My lower teeth had moved again and I had to put on the braces again and this time it hurts really bad. The painkiller doesn't help at all and I couldn't sleep the whole night.

The last time I had the braces removed was about 2 years back. I remember all the discomfort and annoyance of braces - how they cut up your mouth and how badly food gets stuck and I am suffering with a big ulcer now.

The only advantange having the braces on is you get to eat less. No nuts, no chewy candies and etc... that means you get to loose some weight.

But losing weight for me comes in a package. GETTING PREGNANT!

The first time I put on the braces I had Afzal. The second time I had Afdlin...

And now.. OH no...What am I getting myself into?

..: Dinner and Wine :..

2007-10-25T18:45:00.000+08:00

DH family and some friends are coming over tonight. We're serving dinner and wine! heheh..tak lah..just kidding.

We'll have Indian Cuisine tonight with french dessert! ah kau sound macam real jer eh..hehe

Anyway, dessert is ready and it's already in the fridge. I am just left to whip up the dinner later. I do hope they gonna enjoy the dinner tonight. The boys are so eager to meetup their grandma, aunties and cuzzins again..

Now it makes me miss my two nieces in the far far away land :(

hmmm.. takpa eh Siti, Ain..we'll webcam and let you enjoy looking at the food tonight k :)

..: The VIPs :..

2007-10-21T20:39:00.000+08:00

They never failed to visit us every year on Hari Raya. Though it was a short visit... I am glad they could make it. Thanks Lyana and Family! Thanks Trina and Faizal..though you only had a day off, you still manage to squeeze your time to come over. Thanks again Frens!

More photos here.

..: Raya Update :..

2007-10-19T12:34:00.000+08:00

We haven't been doing much visiting this year that's part of the reason why there were not many photos taken to be updated. In fact we didn't get to take a family picture this year..heheh..

I think we will do our official rounds only after next week and hopefully I'll get to snap more photos :) Meanwhile.. you guys just view this first ok..hehe

Click here for more.

..: Table Runner :

2007-10-09T19:10:00.000+08:00

What happened to Robinsons/JL/OGY...they don't even have a decent table runner anymore!!!

MACAM FISH TUL AH!!!

..: I need a time out! :..

2007-10-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

He is doing it again! It's the exam period and he is so freaking the cekik darah..I just don't understand..and I think I am the one suffering from the exam fever.

With Ramadhan and the Raya preps and all.. I think I am beginning to loose my mind and I feel the world is coming to an end!

Is it just me or are all moms going thru this rollercoaster?

..: Sophistication :..

2007-09-15T22:12:00.000+08:00

I am in love with this ...

Click here for more photos.

..: They've left! :..

2007-09-12T18:55:00.000+08:00

The girls left for Manchester on the 11th. I am so gonna miss them both. Hope they will do fine there. Ramadhan and Aidilfitri will be quiet for us this year. Will pray for u girls..health and safety. All the best !!!

psst.. you know where to find me if you miss me ok..hehe :)

..: For The Princess and The Baby :..

2007-09-09T15:31:00.000+08:00

I made this yesterday. It was a last minute order....not a bad job eh? heheh.. am so glad the birthday girl loved it..infact she didn't want to cut the cake :P

And hopefully Iryan's mom love this....

..: Anak-Anak Indonesia :..

2007-09-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

Bibik came back and bought these pyjamas for the boys. They loved it very much.. Lucu kan? hehe...

..: Everlasting Love II :..

2007-09-03T07:44:00.000+08:00

Another request for this. This time round with red roses..

Oh and I love the cake plate...it's soo English. It was a gift from Trina.

Thank You again!

Click here for more photos.

..: Teacher's Day Promotions :..

2007-08-06T19:25:00.000+08:00

The promotion is up! Click here for more info.

..: Tired :..

2007-08-02T14:46:00.000+08:00

So Tired. I have not been sleeping well.

How'd I wish people can just shut their mouth! or at least I can make them stop!

Usually I can handle the unexpected panic attacks but not this time round.

And sadly, I'm scared...

..: Zaobao story on cupcakes :..

2007-08-01T07:35:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah..another milestone for us. We are mentioned in today's Lianhe Zaobao (Chinese Newspaper).

..: I'm Stuck :..

2007-07-27T20:48:00.000+08:00

I've really been struggling with my blog and with so many things in my life. It has been crazy with the baking of late. I totally lost my groove. I really need my groove back!

The maid's going back tomorrow for a month vacation. That means less baking, more cooking (duh!), more cleaning (double duh!)... not to mention more headache with the boys. Ah..that reminds me to bring out the cane from the store room..heheh

On the positive note, I guess this is will be a good break for me from baking and a good time for me to think of the business plan and new ideas. With all the struggling of late.. 2 deals went smoothly... not to mention another good thing came up to add in to the milestone. Alhamdullilah... we'll see how it is on Wednesday :)

I've also manage to go out on a farewell lunch date with my two favourite nieces. They will be leaving for Manchester next month..and this time its gonna be for a very long time... I am definitely gonna miss them both. I am gonna miss our almost weekly brunch together. The lunch wasn't just lunch.. we were given a complimentary tix to the cable ride... I think it was kindda memorable for us.. My virgin ride and a view of Singapore Island for them..heheh

See girls..u get to see the Merlion..which you will only get to see on your vacation break :)
Click here to view more....

..: Everlasting Love :..

2007-07-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

I am beginning to love doing this... another hantaran gift cake...

I simply love the color. Lovely isn't it?

..: Thank You, Goodbye :..

2007-06-29T21:27:00.000+08:00

I have never mentioned about this lady in my blog before. In fact not many know of her existence in my life except for my family. She is my best friend from school. The last time I heard from her was via sms about a month ago. Yesterday afternoon while baking, I received a call from her..

M : hello girl...its me

Me : hello..eh where are you? at work? (the no doesn't look familiar)

M : I quit my job oredi. I'm at mom's place.

Me : Oh.. is everything ok?

M : We're migrating. I'm leaving today.

Me : Today??? You must be joking???

M : It's no joke. Flight at 7.30pm

Me : What??

I was speechless. I knew of her plan to migrate but not this soon. I sat down on the bed and broke down..so was she. She went on and on telling me how sorry she was and why she had to break the news to me the very last minute. She told me not to go down to the airport to bid her goodbye. How could I do that? How could I not see her go? I called dh at his office and told him to come back early and drive me to the airport. I was shaken and I don't think I could drive myself. I couldn't even finish my work.

At the airport, when we saw each other, we couldn't say anything at all.. we hugged each other tightly and cried... Everyone was looking at us but I couldn't carel. I know I am gonna miss her so much. Our friendship means a lot to us. We've been through lots of things.. Though we do not see each other much eversince we have our own family and due to some other personal reasons, we never fail to keep in touch.

I know there is internet, msn, email, phone and etc to keep in touch but the thoughts of her not at the same place with me in this world makes me feel very very sad.

To my dearest Malis... I love you to the max girl! I am gonna say this again.. I am gonna miss you very much.. you take care of yourself and the little angels! I am sorry I was not able to spend time with you of late. I'll be waiting for your emails/call/letters/cards and etc.... :(

..: Dopey and Sleepy got nothing on me :..

2007-06-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you got out of bed, greeted the day and felt great?
If you say that you do that every day I really do envy you.

I can't remember the last time I felt rested. Even yesterday, when I woke up at 9:30am (yes, you read that right), I felt tired. I have a hard time falling asleep at night because I can't shut my mind off. I toss and turn. I turn on the light and read. Then I toss and turn some more until I finally fall asleep. I usually have nightmares. I'm just a mess.

And I'm tired.

I want to be able to wake up when the alarm goes off, not hit the snooze button ten times and greet the day. I don't want to wake up and have the first thing that goes through my head to be "God. I wonder if I can fit a nap in today?" (Because I never can).

Is it just me? Can I get a "Hell Yeah!"?

..: Happy 5th Birthday Afzal! :..

2007-06-11T23:32:00.000+08:00

Has it really been 5 years already?? At every birthday that my brother and I had, my mother would bemoan the fact that she couldn’t understand where the time went because it seemed like just yesterday that we were babies.

I would always roll my eyes and tell her to get over it, that she was just being silly. Now I totally get it. Where the hell did the time go because I swear to you, it feels like just yesterday when I brought that baby boy home? My son, the son that I was so excited to have once I found out that I was pregnant with a little boy, turns 5 years old yesterday. I’m so not ready for this growing up shit….On the other hand, it has been an absolute pleasure watching him grow, develop, overcome, learn and simply be my son.

I’m so excited to see what the years ahead hold for him.

Decided it would be too chaotic and busy to have a party for him. We ended up staying at Orchid Country Club. We had a nice time and Afzal did enjoy himself there.

Happy Birthday Son! We love you very very much!

..: Yipee Yahoo!!! :..

2007-05-23T01:06:00.000+08:00

Ok..he did it!!! Actually, he did better than expected. Alhamdulillah. This IS a BIG deal to me...forgive me for loathing but yes, he got Band 1 for all of his subjects.

He was abandoned for a period of time when I had to attend to a more critical situation at home. At a point of time he simply refuse to work which worries me like hell and it was during the exam period. I didn't think he can make it but he proofs me wrong! Eventually he scored the highest for his Maths and English. (Herda, if you read this...English???? Arghhh... tak paham betul ni anak satu).

Anyway, I am proud of you son! but it doesn't mean that the next exam I will not be a kanchiong spider again. I just can't wait to go through another round of frustrations, triumphs and tears. :P

PS.. Herda..thanks again for the great help! thanks again for going thru with me the physical and emotional rollercoaster..you know what I mean!

So he got a treat to the UK FunFair earlier... Happy lah dia!!!

Click Here for more photos.

..: Perspectives :..

2007-05-15T14:25:00.000+08:00

Relax. The Spa Therapist told me.

I was having an aromatherapy massage at my favorite spa and my body was not cooperating. I guess my psyche is still in full battle gear. I had a rough day for the past few days and feeling a little desperate and wanted to relax and slow down via a massage. It was kinda frustrating trying to do something so easy yet so elusive. Ahh why can't my muscles just relax?! How one feels and how one sees things in their life is sometimes all a matter of one's perspective.

Here's a story about "Perspectives" i received on e-mail. I thought this was pretty nice. Always seeing the good side does pay off.

One day a father and his rich family took his young son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "How was the trip? "Very good, Dad!""Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked."Yeah!" "And what did you learn?"The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden, they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon.When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.His son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are!"

Isn't it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life, you've got everything! You can't buy any of these things. You can have all the material possessions you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc., but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing! As for me, I have to loosen up. All work and no play makes me a dull woman! Better luck on my next visit to the spa. Oh and I'm in love with the new therapist!

..: My Lil Baby have grown so much! :..

2007-05-07T01:15:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, all you can do is take a picture, knowing that you'll forget whatever is in your head and the feeling of the whole of your being expanding, your heart rising up out of your chest, your lungs bursting with cheers as you watch how much your child had grown.

You take a picture, and you store it in your heart. Sometimes, that's enough.

..: Bread and Butter Pudding :..

2007-05-02T15:13:00.000+08:00

What to do with leftover bread? Make Bread and Butter Pudding!

It was very well-received. The kids love it and it was gone within 20mins. Actually I missed baking and cooking for the kids. Just 2 days ago I made some fruit tartlets for the kids (lupa nak take photo) and they love it too. It has been awhile.. so mood tengah ada..apa lagi.

Now the kids made me promise to bake more stuffs for them...whats next? I'm craving for macaroons...hmmm ...gotta dig my recipe book now..

..: Rambling Time :..

2007-04-23T22:56:00.000+08:00

Wow..a lot of time is passing in between my blog posts lately. I remember when I would practically have a panic attack when I couldn’t blog on a daily basis, often several times in one day. I don’t have that same urge that I once did. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy blogging when I have the time, that is. The computer doesn’t pull me in like it once did. Life has found little ways to keep me busy, I guess. That said, there are days when I miss the early days of blogging. When it was fresh and new to me, I would sit and write off the top of my head and then come back and write more later. I don’t do that anymore. I miss doing that. Heck, I can barely sit down for 2 minutes and flip through a magazine nowadays.

Oh well…the weekends were good. I had 2 cakes displayed at the Wedding Regalia's open house. One of which is now on my favourite list :) . "In My Hearts" I called it. Do let me know what you think :).

They were a great bunch of people to work with. Lots of things I've learnt. I've improved in my marketing skill tremendously (which I've always thought I can never do)..I've been so motivated lately and I've learnt to manage the business better. In this, I've met so many people of which they've guided me a lot. I know they have a world full of choices and appreciate that they've selected me. Thank you for the trust and confidence!

Click here for more pics.

psst... did I mention that we are legal now? wish us lots of prosperity yeah... :)

..: Blogstipation :..

2007-04-17T02:36:00.000+08:00

One of the problems with taking a break from blogging is that the stream of stuff that one wants to write/blog about doesn't stop running. It just keeps coming and coming and that list in your head of things that you really must write about just gets longer and longer and eventually you start to get something like that cramped feeling that you get when your gastro-intestinal system gets all bunged up from too much input and not enough output, except in your head and not in your pipes.

That's what's happening to me right now. There are about six gajillion ideas for posts that pressing upon the inside of my skull, but I am exhausted and suffering from health-related anxiety and general malaise and am overwhelmed with work and feeling guilty about not socializing enough in my beloved momosphere and simply can't push those posts through my system quickly enough.

I think I'll have to wait until tomorrow, or the next day. I'm blogstipated, you know.

Meantime, the mother's day promo is up. Do check it out here.

..: My Little Princess :..

2007-04-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

It had been awhile since I last blog about my cupcakes.

I've just gotta blog for this one...was thinking of baking a set for myself soon..I just love it! :)

and in this cute packaging too..

Oh on the other hand... KAT, SHAM & EUS... I love you girls to the max! You girls are the bestest... thank u so much for the love! ...err and I also want to tell you guys one of the boys deleted our photos from the camera! Now I am not able to put them up in my blog! We've got to do it again soon k... Muah, Muah Muah!

..: Choices :..

2007-03-29T23:36:00.000+08:00

I believe everyone has a right to "Choice". What ever you do (and I mean what ever you do!) has consequences. There are so many paths to take. You can stay in bed all day, pick your nose in public, eat or not eat, be kind or cruel, laugh or cry...etc, etc, etc. If you are a friend, parent, spouse or loved ones, the choices you make will affect those significant others that are around you.

Lately I have found myself contemplating those choices and the results of those efforts. We can keep still and never say a thing to someone when they hurt you. We can choose to walk away and ignore what moved us to escape... or we can face things firmly and directly and change.

Change IS HARD! Re-inventing one-self takes courage. In the reflection of all I have seen, and all the hurt and pain..all I can do is walk forward and try...

Today is "THE" day... pls do pray for us... him especially! :(

..: You really had to be there... :..

2007-03-25T17:49:00.000+08:00

As of late, I've seen the changes in Dh's behaviour. He's becoming more temperamental lately. He gets agitate easily. He used to be the most patience person I know on earth.

Earlier, when we were at the mackies, he got so agitated with the mackies' staff for clearing his chilli sauce cause he had not finished his meal. I thot it was funny at first but when I saw his agitated face...I realised he was really mad.

I don't know if I should laugh or worry. He could have just replenished the chilli sauce. What has got into him? Perhaps he was tired and hungry? The Age? Or is it just my feelings? Perhaps its the medicine....

hmm..just wondering...

..: We're Still Here :..

2007-03-20T11:09:00.000+08:00

You know, it was once easy for me to blog. Now I struggle to find time to write on my blog. This may mean my blog is nearing the end of its good life. But for I'll update of life as it is right now, and we'll see what happens in the near future.

Afdlin turns 12months last week.. (Click here for more photos)

Dear Fairul Afdlin,

You turned 12 months last week. I suppose that now you are technically a toddler. Except for one thing. You are still afraid of strangers and unfamiliar faces. *Sigh* This is so hard for your ultra-competitive mother.

Oh well. You make up for it by being incredibly smart. You crack us up the way you talk on the phone. You will pick it up and put it to your ear and talk for several minutes. We have no idea what you say, but you are very serious about it. When there isn't a phone nearby, you'll use just about anything in its place. This month has been a big month for you in terms of figuring things out. All of a sudden, you seem to understand the purpose of things. You know how to climb in and out of chairs, you know what to do with a hairbrush, and you know what to do with your shoes. It is pretty exciting to know that when I talk to you now, things are starting to make sense to you.

You are such a happy little person. Your goal is to make everyone laugh. The sounds and faces you make keep everyone around you rolling. I wonder if you'll be this friendly to strangers. I hope so. I hope that you are going to overcome your shyness soon. There was a time when making it through the day was a chore. Just because there was so much work involved in taking care of you. But it doesn't matter to us at all because we love you! Mama loves ou, Abah loves you and your brothers love you too!

Now go overcome your fear and shyness with strangers!

Love,

MaMa

Click here... this was one of the reason that kept me busy for the past few weeks. Congrats nephew for your engagment! I am glad to be one of the most impt pple in the affair ;)

..: Welcoming Change :..

2007-02-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

I’ve never been a big proponent of change. I don’t like new things. I get anxious about them. I will procrastinate the heck out of anything that will require a change. People who knows me are nodding their heads vigorously at these statements.

Unfortunately, Change has come to me whether I like it or not. My life is different now than what I expected 10 years ago in so many ways. I have changed, either because of or despite my wishes. So many Changes, and they have helped mold me into who I am.

I wish that so many changes weren’t necessary. I get so caught up in the wishing, though, that I ignore the necessary Changes.

I am trying to welcome Change now. I (might) have wallowed enough. Today, as I sit around, I open my heart to welcome the changes that have come into my life, and try to look forward to the Changes around the corner.

Happy Birthday Me!

..: At My Breaking Point :..

2007-02-20T01:02:00.000+08:00

Cut for excessive whining, of which I think I've done more than my share of late, but which I can't seem to stop because things aren’t getting better and are, in fact, continuing downhill.

I've tried maintaining my cool for the sake of the kids...trying very hard not to show them wats inside me... Lots of prayers need to be done and I somehow doubt I’d feel better sitting in the toilet and crying.

Sort of scared, here…

..: He walks now!!! :..

2007-02-14T23:06:00.000+08:00

Do not rub your eyes.. there was no camera trick... my baby is walking...now at 11 months. In fact he had been walking a few steps since 10 months.... :)

..: Sucks :..

2007-02-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

Sad, angry, helpless... these are what we (me and hub) are feeling right now. Wish we could have done much more... it just sucks! Couldn't stop thinking...couldn't even believe it... Why? Why?

If only we could turn it to be a nightmare or to move the time faster. I just couldn't hold on my tear...All we can do is pray... pray for the safety...pray everything will be fine.

..: Thank you from the bottom of my heart :..

2007-02-05T02:24:00.000+08:00

Thank you from the bottom of my heart girls! You've been a great support from day one!
Cadbury, Tea and Trina.. I love u girls very much!

And to dear hubby.. I love you too...for the 2 sleepless day/nite..and I know you did that cause you love me too... :)

I've lost my voice now...but it was worth the efforts!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Will update again later after a much needed rest!

..: Things that are fun :..

2007-01-31T02:37:00.000+08:00

The weekend... I had so many fun things happened as proven in these photos :) . I love to see the smile on their faces.

And both the boys got to feel an experienced they've never felt before....

The little one too...

Click here for more...

..: --- :..

2007-01-26T00:23:00.000+08:00

This has not been a good day.

WHATEVER....

..: Respect - The Wave :..

2007-01-21T20:08:00.000+08:00

When one stays home with her children, one learns valuable lessons that one would never have learned out in the workplace. For instance, today I learned that rice + cauliflower + carrot soup = shit that smells like a perm.

The smell of a perm arising from the poop of Afdlin's butt has brought back a flood of memories.

Permenant wave, memories.

I was only 12 years old the first time I was allowed the honor of having my hair wrapped up in rows of curlers and doused with horrific smelling chemicals with the promise of "permanently wavy" hair.

It took hours, but when it was finished, OH MY GOD, I looked so HOT. At least I thought I did. I remember that day in vivid detail. Lucky for you, I'll spare you most of those details, but let's just say, when my cousin was done administering The Perm, it no longer stinks.

I left the nyonya house thinking I was the most beautiful girl that ever lived and I could not wait to go over granny's home and show off my perm to the neighborhood gang and cousin.

The minute we arrived at granny's, I went running to find The Gang so I could brag about how hot I looked and brag.I.Did. I was a total bitch about it. "Tengok rambut aku tak macam rambut korang!" And so on, and so forth.

This is where my memory gets a little fuzzy. All I remember is one minute I'm bragging to The Gang about my perm, the next minute... STRAWBERRY MILK IS ALL UP IN MY FRESHLY PERMED HAIR!!

I started screaming and crying because, you're not supposed to wash your hair for 48 hours! I ran home to my mom, washed my hair and watched my dreams of PERMANENTLY WAVED HAIR go down the drain.

Ah, the memories a little baby shit can stir up.

God, I LOVED that perm, all two hours of it.

...: Pak Pak Bing Bing! :..

2007-01-13T03:00:00.000+08:00

It's DH nephew's wedding and it's gonna be a very busy weekend for me. I love weddings, I don't really know why, but I do. The canopy were setup, the bunga rampai were prepared, the bunga paha were all done up. I just hope it will be a better weather for the next two days.

And I've prepared these for tomorrow....

..: Stuff and more stuff :..

2007-01-09T09:26:00.000+08:00

It's funny how it's easier for me to just sit here and write when I'm not feeling good. When my writing is more of an emotional puking it's just... better somehow.

Things are better now. Significantly better. The anxiety is back under control now that I'm back on track and subsequently I'm handling almost everything better. I still have no motivation to do things around the house.

It's been a little tough with Afzal this year. I thought he was 100% ready for K1. He was really ready which was just so reassuring. The 1st and 2nd day of school went smoothly. But on the 3rd day he refused to step into the class and was screaming and crying...and it was the same yesterday. It really scares me. It has been such an amazing year for him last year. The teachers adore him and he had been doing very well. Had a talk with his new teacher and nursery teacher..both of them thinks its due to the migration from 2hrs to 4hrs session. The first 2 days they did nothing and he could have bored him.

I did ask him why he refused to go to school and his answer was "BORING". The teachers did assure me he is going to be fine. To give him a couple more day. Infact today he was ok. I am trying to have faith that he'll be fine..I know he will be fine.

On the other hand, Asyraf received this over the weekend. Well Done son! Next year must get one more ok? :) . Despite his mischeifs, he never failed to make us proud of him. I am praying he will keep up his good work.

Unfortunately, it was very sad that Mama was not able to witness this due to work commitment. :( I know you would understand this.. I wouldn't miss it for anything if not for work. *sigh* - I AM A BAD MOM!!!

Motivation. I’d do anything for a nice scoop of motivation.

..: New Year :..

2007-01-03T18:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Frens,

My apology if I didn't reply to any of your smses and missed many of your calls. Thank you for all the wishes and Happy Belated New Year to everyone!

I celebrated 2006 ending with a germ pit in my home. The boys were down with fever.

Asyraf and Afzal were coughing and sneezing and sniffling like crazy, and they seems to feel absolutely miserable.

Afdlin was a little irritable he was down with fever too. Not sure if it’s related to his teeth that are coming in, but he was also sneezing.

I was feeling a little bit run down myself. I had been sneezing every so often and my head was hurt. Of course, everyone knows that mothers don’t get sick days because whether we work or stay home, we’re still on call 24 hours a day soI don’t really have time to be sick, especially if the kids are. Thank god, it was a mild one for me.

Alhamdullilah Asyraf and Afzal were well enough in time for school this morning. I can’t believe that it’s 2007 already. Time just keeps going by faster and faster every year that I get a little older.

I don’t remember what my resolutions for 2006 were, but I’m sure that I didn’t keep many - if any - of them. I have two resolutions for 2007. One is a resolution that I stole from a friend, to “make the effort” in all areas of my life. It’s such a perfect resolution and takes some of the pressure off of a list of rules that I won’t live up to in the end.

The other resolution is to read more. I’m still appalled at how few books I read this past year. Yes, I have a 3 kids, but that’s no excuse, I can still read more than I did.

I thought about doing a year in review. One of those amazing “this has been a year to remember” kind of posts. However, I just really am grateful that 2006 is leaving. Good riddance.

2006 brought…
- Lots of Prosperous to Perfect Frosting...

- I made a big step to resign from my job and run Perfect Frosting full time.

- I made new friends, lost some old ones.

- I grew closer to some people and further from others. I learned that life has no guarantees, so you better live everyday for all it is worth.

- I found wisdom in friends when I couldn’t see it myself and hopefully taught a thing or two.

- I learned what is important to my business and what is just filler.

- I mended fences that were broken and put up fences that needed to keep toxicity out. I found forgiveness where it wasn’t deserved and gave it when I still hurt.

- I discovered that business and friendship are not mutually exclusive. You can love the ones you work with.

- I learned that I can live through the hardest experience of my life.

- I found acceptance among people I admire and friendship among peers I adore.

- I gave more than I should have at some points and held back at times when I should have given more.

- I learned that you have to say you love someone if you love them. Tomorrow is not a guarantee.

- I learned not to lean too far over the edge of a hot tub to hug someone or you might fall in.

- I received love from more people than I could ever imagine and hope I gave it back.

I lived and I am definitely ready to take on 2007.

Oh..and I would definitely not forget Asyraf's 2006 Birthday Bash!

Click here for more photos.

..: Braaainns! :..

2006-12-27T01:20:00.000+08:00

Pardon the title. It’s just that I’m feeling a little bit like a zombie today!

Today was yet another crappy and rainy day. The harddisk of my notebook needed reformatting and it took me almost the whole day to get it done! Not only that, I had the initial Perfect Frosting's layout go all haywired! Had to get it right quickly! Thank god it turned out not so bad. At least it has a fresher look and ready for the new year!

Oh I almost did something foolish on the blogger template. I've got to stop tweaking and fooling around before I get into deeper shit!

And now that it’s almost 1:30am maybe I should head to bed. Although the night did definitely improve, it’s not over yet and I don’t want to tempt fate by staying awake to see what else can happen.

Oh... I am definitely looking forward for the "ROCKERS PARTY" this coming Fri!

..: 7th Today :..

2006-12-23T07:17:00.000+08:00

Seven years ago today, our first child was born. As all parents say. "It's hard to believe".

We had a handsome baby son. Life changed that day in a big way, but only for the better.

Happy 7th Birthday Fairul Asyraf! We love you!

..: Super Busy :..

2006-12-13T11:26:00.000+08:00

These 2 months have been a super busy months for me.. nak update blog pun tak sempat2.. To my dearest frens who have been smsing me about my whereabouts...I am still around lah...only time doesn't permit me to sit and write.. but I promise after December korang checklah blog aku hari hari eh...

I whipped this up 2 days back. I am glad the girls love them and even the parents.. :). Happy Birthday Iffah and Syifa! I've named the doll cake after Syifa..heheh It's named Princess Syifa.

Princess Syifa

Iffah's Cake

..: Influenced :..

2006-12-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

Remembered this?

Now this!!!

Can you see the similarity in them?

..: When Hans met Datin F :...

2006-11-26T15:11:00.000+08:00

Heheheh... finally!!! I had a great time meeting this Mamat with a great company of friends and family. He is definitely a one cool guy. I have always love the Santai events organized by WORKHEART. They never failed to get the fans to be up close and personal with their fav artist.

Best part of it all, he was really impressed with the cupcakes I made...

Ok I'll let the PICTURES do the talking....

(*wink* at Trina : I managed to get you something from him!)

..: Bits and Pieces :..

2006-11-25T03:03:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Blogspot for not being frenly to me lately. I was not able to post any new entries for the past weeks. Sent numerous emails for help but habuk pun tarak... satu email pun tak di jawab! Thank god for the unofficial blogspot's technical support (heheh you know who you are! :P ). I was able to post my entries again.

Ok.. so what have I missed? hmmm..

These had kept me busy of late... but I am enjoying myself as usual.

Syukur Alhamdullilah, Asyraf made it to the top 10 in class but I know he can do much much better than this.. definitely. Thanks to Herda for the great help! Thanks for responding to all my smses when I was having a nervous breakdown..biasa ah... I can be a kanciong spider at times..heheh ... Oh the abusing and the dera-ing works for him though! Thanks again ;).

I had a good feedback of Afzal during the Parents-Teacher's Meeting. He had done great in school and I am definitely proud of him, inspite of his pelatness still.

Afdlin had turned 8months on the 14th. How time flies. He had grown 2 more teeth. Will update his latest pic soon.

That should be it.. some of the things I've missed to blog.

Oh..and I am so looking forward to meetup with this mamat tomorrow..heheh..will try to get his photos as much as possible.. :)

..: Mari Bersantai! :..

2006-11-07T00:15:00.000+08:00

Everyone!!! This gorgeous guy (*drooling*) is coming to town on 25th November and I am so gonna meet him...hehe... I would not give this a miss for sure... can't wait to have pictures taken with him..there are so many questions I wanna ask him...the thoughts of it is giving me goose bumps..heheh (mampus kalau laki ku tahu!)

But of coure I am going with my husbandlah...saper kan nak jadi cameraman nanti..heheh so u girls out there who are heads over heels with this guy...do join us to meet him... just go to muzika to get tickets! muzika tel is 67436546...Tix are still available... you can check WORKHEART site too!

You'll get to meet up with him personally...talk to him, take pix, get an autograph....and eat my cupcakes! kalau tak..nanti saya amik gambar banyak2..jgn jelous tau!!

Oh if you are thinking of getting the PGL tix to meet Hans..lupakan sajer...cause he is so not going to PGL... dia dah confirm dgn I lah...

..: Pepsi Chicken :..

2006-11-02T22:56:00.000+08:00

The guests couldn't make it to our place tonight so I've decided to whip this up for the kids instead..

Less than 10 minutes, all are gone. Asyraf said "SEDAAAP MAMA!". Afzal said "WAH MAMA COOK TODAY! SEDAAAP!" ...heheh pandai dorang angkat Mama dia...ni yang motivates me to cook often..heheh

Oh to my dear fren Trina..yes I am using real Pepsi drink for this Chicken..heheh.. and yes will cook for you once you share that knowledge of urs..*wink wink*

..: Worth a thousand Words :..

2006-10-30T02:57:00.000+08:00

These are not the greatest pictures I've ever taken but I'm sure its probably some of the most beautiful pictures of my two boys that I've ever seen...

I love it. Love. Love. Love. I love it for so many reasons...

Click here for more.

..: So this is Hari Raya... :..

2006-10-26T01:41:00.000+08:00

His first Hari Raya... doesn't look happy rite? He is still afraid of new faces he's not seen before.

Unlike his brothers, who are always looking forward for Hari Raya...

Wishing all of you Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin....

..: Do view this.. :..

2006-10-20T17:15:00.000+08:00

It touches me when I saw this on TV3...

..: Yesterday :..

2006-10-14T02:22:00.000+08:00

He came home yesterday with this...

I almost *faint* heheh ... if only he behave the same at home :) BUT I'm still proud of you son! Love you very very much....

Oh...did I tell you I had my hair permed/colored 2 days ago??? heheh.. now I look like budak hanyut... err more like budak ganyut...heheh but dh kindda like it and Asyraf had changed my name to Jane :P

..: My baby at 6 months :..

2006-10-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

He is only 6 months old and see what I caught him doing...(dgn muka tak bersalah dia lagi..)

Hello Mat! can you slow down a little... jangan kasi takut Mama can or not?? First the teeth now this... can you not grow up so fast??

..: Exam Fever :..

2006-10-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today has not been a good day. Asyraf is having exam tommorrow and right now I am just plain tapped out. I'm exhausted and I honestly want nothing more than a few hours alone with no one else around me expecting anything of me- no conversation, no companionship- just me, myself and I so that I can recharge my battery.

I'm "touched out" right now- I don't want anyone touching me and I don't want to talk to a single living soul- or a dead one. In other word, I just want to be alone. I didn't mention how I yelled at him earlier when he did not do his worksheet properly. I felt guilty about these things. These are the things that haunt me and worry me. These are the moments were I really have to question if I am a good mom. I'm not a patient woman. I do have a temper and I am really having a bad day.

But what can I do but just hope for the best tomorrow when a new day dawns and we begin again...

I just have to pray that I can do better tomorrow..

... I Can Not Ask For More :..

2006-09-26T01:19:00.000+08:00

nFear Not, Oh People Who Read My Blog! I have not quit blogging. Had been very busy trying to get my "business" off and running and at the same time adjusting myself with the new title of "SAHM".

These are some of the list of things I have been doing recently :

1) Baking (It's becoming a passion for me!)
2) Reading (I am so glad that I am able to pick up this hobby again..its been awhile eversince I last read a book of more than 100pages)
3) Shopping (How can I not enjoy this when I get to shop at 10am with Afzal while other people are busy in the office? Indeed its a bonding time for mom and son..I have to do it with Asyraf soon!...Oh not forgetting bonding with dh..hehe shopping without the kids and get what you longing for like...erm..shall not mentionlah! :) )
4) Over the causeway on weekdays. (I think we've been over the causeway for more than 5 times in a month...no hassle over the causeway jam !)
6) Meeting up with friends/collegues for lunch and dinner. (ni case nak lepas kan rindulah...Kan Juraidah kan??? hehe)
7) Witnessing the kids waking up by my side every single day. (I cannot describe more on this)

Oh there's many more which the list can go on and on....

If you ask me how's life as a SAHM? I think its every women's dream! If you ask do I miss working life..the answer is definitely NO! Regrets? Definitely NO!

And can you imagine the feeling of riding on this in town with the people I Love? *wink at Tea*

I could not ask for more.....

I hope I am not too late for this...wishing everyone Ramadan AL-MUBARAK!

..: Argggh! :..

2006-09-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling stressed and anxious and panicky and just unhappy for no reason today. I don't know why I'm feeling so out of sorts this afternoon but I'm on the verge of tears and the things that are stressing me out just aren't bad enough to cause this kind of reaction. I don't get it. I can't explain it.

Maybe things will get back to normal tomorrow.

Half way there, baby

2006-09-14T11:55:00.000+08:00

Today, my son is 6 months old.

Where did the time go? And why is it passing so quickly?

I wish it would slow down. I look at my boys, and I am painfully aware that I'll blink my eyes and that handsome baby boy is growing very fast!

I remembered when I found out that the baby I was carrying inside of me was another boy. I was scared. I honestly did not believe I could bond with another boy. I feared I wouldn't connect with him the same way I did with his brothers. I didn't think he'd like me very much, Silly as that sounds. I'd have nightmares of him fussing when I'd hold him and screaming for his abah to rescue him from me.

I was so wrong. He adores me. And I adore him.
There is a powerful love between the two of us and I look forward to watching it grow and develop over the coming years.

Six months have already passed, and the love and pride I feel towards him is so heart-stirring, I can only imagine what the future holds.

..: The ramble goes on.. :..

2006-09-04T01:29:00.000+08:00

My God, I love those boys.

When I'm feeling sad or depressed, they'll find a way to make me laugh.

When I'm upset, they have a way of making me realize things aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be. They'll draw pictures expressing their love for me, or rub my back while indirectly telling me everything will be ok.

When I'm feeling ugly, they'll remind me that to them... I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and, as Asyraf said "very sexy, because would abah love you if you are not sexy?"

He has a point. Ha! Ha!

Ok...it has been a tiring week for me but I jsut can't stop loving my boys!

..: Aku lah Raja :..

2006-08-22T02:18:00.000+08:00

Today's blog is all about sound effect and it goes something like this...

..: Can't think of a title :..

2006-08-21T00:46:00.000+08:00

I was trying to think of how to put into words just how tired I am. There are no words.

..: Pretty? Not? :..

2006-08-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

A friend recently told me I look pretty without makeup.

Being the kind of person who can't take a compliment, because, seriously? How could anyone say I look pretty without make up and MEAN IT? I didn't believe her.

However...I decided that I'd trust her. This friend always has my best interest at heart. She'd not say something she didn't mean.

So, I stopped wearing foundation, only a little powder. I also toned down the eyeliner, and bought a more natural lipstick. I felt very uncomfortable and akward at first. I felt somewhat naked and yes, ugly.

Last night I took a picture of myself with a totally clean face. No powder. No lipstick No mascara. Nothing. At first, it was very hard for me to look at. I saw nothing but flaws.

I started to pick my face apart and then, I stopped myself. Everyone has flaws. No one is perfect. That's life. This is the face I was born with, it's the face I'm going to die with. I need to learn to accept it and like it, EVEN IF it's not as pretty as I wish it was.

WHO CARES!? And more importantly, why do I care so much? Life is so much bigger than one's looks. I have stretch marks. My breasts are large and saggy. I have wrinkles and yes, I'm getting gray hairs. So what!

My looks do not define me. I don't think I need to waste so much time struggling with this issue. I am healthy, I am happy, I am loving, I am a mother. So many wonderful things, I am. So I dont think I need to focus so much of my energy on something as trivial as my appearance..heheh

Ridiculous.

Seriously.

..: EUWWW be real! :..

2006-08-11T02:26:00.000+08:00

Blogging is becoming less fun for me as each day passes.

I see ugliness in people that disgusts me. Over a BLOG.

I read of people neglecting their families over their blog. I read of people tearing other human beings to shreds over their blog. I read of people wanting fame and fortune and hits and presents.

For the most part, I try to ignore those people who have lost their grip on reality in the name of fame on the internet, and I continue writing about my pathetic little life, because I enjoy it. I enjoy writing about the kids. Or about my family. Or about my cakes. And I enjoy that a few people will stop by and comment. But it certainly isn't the most important thing in my life.

I realise everyone does it for different reasons, and I don't care about what other people's reasons are, really. I do care about the fact people are acting like assholes though. It makes me not want to be a part of it. I have enough aggravation in my life, I don't need to spend time online reading about women who thinks they're a celebrity because they have a blog, and lots of other women read it and tell them how great they are.

I have children, a husband, a home, wonderful friends, ... THEY are what matter. When my kids grow up, I certainly don't think they're going to care how many hits my BLOG got. They'll care about the time we spent at night reading or watching movies together, or going to get ice cream.

I wonder why people spent too much time wrapped up in the blog world. I don't know what it is about a website that makes people lose their damn minds.

I suppose I'm writing this because I noticed that with each passing day, I'm caring less and less about "blogging". I'm starting to realise how insignificant it really is in the grand scheme of this thing called LIFE. I know it's easy to get caught up in it all, I know it's easy to care about how many people read, how many comments you get, but seriously, in the end, it doesn't really matter.

I'm not saying blogs are BAD, nor am I saying that all people who blog should do it for the same reasons I do. I just get sick when I read some of the stuff out there right now!!!

..: My Love :..

2006-08-03T01:17:00.000+08:00

My love for him is growing in leap and in bounds.
With each new sound he utters. With each smile he sends my way. With each giggle. With every tear he cries. With each day that passes, my love for him multiplies a thousand times over again.
I love him.
I love him.
I love him.

..: Nothing to see here :..

2006-07-29T03:16:00.000+08:00

I've been doing some blog surfing today, reading blogs I've never read before and now I'm wondering why any one would even waste their time reading mine? man, I'm so boring and don't really have anything important to say. I feel so insignificant now.

The reason I started this blog was to have an outlet. I didn't care if anyone ever came to read it. However, people have come and they do read and I have met some of the most wonderful people. Some of them I have even grown to love and consider them my friends. They are amazing people that I would have never met were it not for this blog.

But I don't understand why any of you find me interesting enough to come back over and over again. I see the stuff that is out there and it's amazing. I don't have anything important to say, nothing deep or profound. maybe I make you laugh once in a while, but other than that, there's not much here. It's just me blabbing about my unimportant life and thoughts. (sidenote: I am NOT fishing for compliments here!!!) I just see what's out there and I realize, I am not unique, I am not even a good writer, infact, I suck and I know it! I am not entertaining. so, Iwonder why anyone would read my blog on a regular basis.

I will continue to write here, even if no one came to read, because it's a great outlet for me. But I'm grateful you do stop by and I am even more grateful for the support you have given me when I've written about something that is troubling me. Your words and emails have been invaluable and have given me so much to think about. some of you have even written to me and it's been so helpful to me. Words can not express how much your words have meant.

So, although I didn't start this thing to make friends or with the intention of anyone reading it, I am glad that you do stop by and read and even take the time to leave comments, or send me emails and I hope you continue to do so, although, i'll never understand why you do!

Or perhaps... this is could be the reason ;) ...

heheh...thank you my friends....

..: There is no point, people. :..

2006-07-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

I'll never understand people who take the time to e-mail me and intended to insult/ hurt me. Do these people really think I care?

Oh my God! "YOU SUCK" thinks I'm a filthy, fat whore!

HOW WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO GO ON WITH MY LIFE?

God.. "Getalife" thinks I shouldn't be allowed to breed and that I make ugly kids!

WHERE'S MY GUN SO I CAN JUST END IT ALL NOW?

I especially love the person who told me I was a bad mother and that I was stupid just like my cupcakes. He/she really injured my soul when she snapped this zinger. "MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD CHEAT ON YOU SO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!"

Oh, maybe he should! Maybe that would teach me a lesson! NOW I'M AFRAID TO LET MY HUSBAND LEAVE THE HOUSE, BECAUSE, WHAT IF HE CHEATS ON ME?!?!

Those people make me laugh, I mean, they HURT ME SO BAD I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!

Hilarious, people. Hilarious.

It makes me laugh so hard everytime I think of it.

You know what's totally NOT hilarious?

I think I am going to get pregnant again and breed as much kids as possible. I'll produce more beautiful kids and my husband never failed to love me every second and every min of his life!

HAPPY NOW????

..: 2 tiered :..

2006-07-23T03:14:00.000+08:00

My first attempt..2 tiered!

P.S. Flowers are all handmade and you cannot find them at Phoon Huat...hehehe

On another note, it was an honor to be asked to bake for her. It will be a surprise for her live on Suria Segar this morning. Happy Birthday Nurul! Hope you will like the cake!

..: Venting :..

2006-07-20T02:11:00.000+08:00

When some people feel jealous or insecure, they lash out at others. Maybe they gossip behind people's back and spread nasty rumors in attempts to make themselves feel better because their jealousy is eating them up inside.

Not only that..they sent out nasty e-mails and etc..

Now LET ME TELL YOU THIS!!!... I feel I've started to succeed at something and as soon as I get close to my goal, I will never give up. I am not gonna as easy as JUST STOPPING as what you have wished.

The thing that seperates me from these people is that instead of trying to better themselves and instead of working hard to achieve a goal, they just talk about others and try to pull others down.

Are there any "Tony Robbins" or "Rhonda Brittons" out there who can give these people advice on "setting and achieving goals like a mature adult?" They've just got to look for ways to STOP THE INSANITY!

..: We did it again! :..

2006-07-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

It's in Berita Harian today!

..: Durian Fantasy :..

2006-07-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

There is no special occasion. I baked this out of boredom earlier. (ps...flowers not from phoon huat eh..heheh)

If you're no lover of durians, skip this item. But you don't know what you're missing.
How can you not love soft, velvety sponge sandwiched with rich, bittersweet durian fudge?

Just the smell of it is intoxicating. Will let some of my personal food tester try this tomorrow and will see whats the feedback before I update this on the multiply for sale :)

Oh..got my self a new toy...and I am so loving it...now I can just use one device as my mobile phone and the same device to store all my orders and customers data. On top of that, it just fit nicely in my purse... :)

..: The Power of two teeth and squinty eyes :..

2006-07-11T23:52:00.000+08:00

(pic taken from hp)

My son has learned to use his "Charm" to get what he wants. A talent that I have never been able to master.

Perhaps it's because I do not possess the Gift of Charm. This little boy, however, is bursting with charm.

And MAN, does he know how to work it.

..: Latest mag feat Perfect Frosting in their first issue! :..

2006-07-08T00:23:00.000+08:00

Go grab yourself a copy of Sungguh! Pengantin.

Most importantly do not miss what's inside!

..: My Heart! :..

2006-07-07T01:58:00.000+08:00

Last night, Asyraf said "Abang sayang mama, and abah and Afdlin."

Afzal burst into tears, "Abang tak sayang adik"

The look on Asyraf's face when he realised he forgot to mention Afzal's name broke my heart. He does love Afzal, very much, and I know it was an accident that he didn't mention it

"Abang tak sayang adik..abang tak cakap nama adik!" Asyraf left the room, his eyes full of tears. because he knew he had hurt Afzal, and that hurt him.

I tried to comfort Asyraf, but he sobbed uncontrollably. I held him as he buried his sweet face in my chest and said "Mama, abang sayang adik tau. I think about him ALL DAY in school."

I lost it. I started to cry for both of them. I cried because I knew Afzal felt betrayed by his brother, and I cried because I knew Asyraf was devestated that he caused his brother that much hurt. And I cried because my children love each other deeply and the beauty of that touched me to the core of my being.

It also made me realise how things that I think may not matter, matter to THEM. Things that may seem unimportant to me, little things, may be a huge deal. It made me realise I need to be more considerate of what I say and what I do, because I never want to make my children hurt the way I saw Afzal hurt last night, ever.

I thank God everyday for those boys. They teach me new things everyday. They make me a better human being. But mostly, they make me happy, even when they're breaking my heart.

..: Madeira - I baked! :..

2006-07-05T01:50:00.000+08:00

This was made earlier for a special lady. When her daughter had asked me to bake for her, without any hesitation I took up the challenge. But when I was told she don't eat cakes made from non-muslims... I knew I had a bigger challenge. This had to be good. She has to like the cake...

I had Plan A initially which I think she will definitely love the cake. It failed the very last minute. I couldn't find part of the ingredients anywhere... hmmm.. so I had to flip flip my old recipe book.. I remembered I've baked this (without the chocolate coating) long long time ago..before Asyraf was even born. It had quite a good review from some frens. So I've decided to whip this up for her and have decided to add a modern touch to it. In fact I baked 2 so that my personal food tester and food critics can test it first...Ok half cake was gone in half hour :P

Madeira Chocolate Cake - I've baked!

So we'll have to wait for her review tomorrow. I just hope she is gonna come back to order more :) Happy Anniversary Makcik!

Ok..if you can hear the song playing on my blog now.. this song was sent by a good fren on mine.. and dah lama aku kenal mina ni..baru tonite aku tahu dia ni ada suka sama tu AWIE lah... gua caya sama lu minah! ROCK NEVER DIE!!! :P

..: The End of an Era :..

2006-06-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

How many years constitutes an "era"? In any event, today is my last day at HP. It is a double-edged sword in that this was my longest job. I made some great friends and developed some great working relationships. It was tough to leave it all behind. The past few years is the most continuity I've had in life for too long. A lot has been going on lately and I am so looking forward to being a SAHM. I can't wait to get my desk all cleared up earlier and to bring down all the pictures of my kids...

You might think I've left my job to pursue my baking career. That was not the main reason for my resignation. First off, I love my job. I wouldn't be working there for many years if I didn't. After so many thoughts and discussions with dh...we've finally come to a conclusion that I really need to stay at home for my children sake...I really need to focus now what's within my life. I am not denying that I've neglected a lot of things. I've also notice the kids are growing real fast...and I wouldn't want to miss all the changes in their life. I want to be a good MAMA to them insyallah.

The best part of all these is that I still get to keep the maid...hehe.. you know I hate to cleanup..ask me to cook I am ok. It will be a sad thing to let her go... she's been with us for 12 years. Alhamdullilah.. I am happy with the arrangements for now. At least there is someone to help out with the house and I can be fully focus on the kids. We'll see how it goes...

Just wish me luck...I really need them.

Oh..spotted someone familiar in the Mother & Baby mag...heheh saper eh??? 3 pages lagi...dah lawan towkay betul :P

I just have to curi this photo from her mom...heheh she has grown a lot too... :P

..: Segment Cancelled :..

2006-06-30T01:44:00.000+08:00

Sorry to have you guys all excited. My apology for not being able to reply to all smses due to a heavy baking earlier. Received this sms earlier from Q & Que :

" When we did editing yesterday, Suhaimi Yusof's brother passed away. He has to rush to the hospital and he cant insert your part coz we have to submit it for the station to load and we are not given a chance to make ammendments. But we will put your special edition video in our blog and dvd copy for your portfolio. Sorry Kak Fai. Even few of our sponsors are not being credited"

I guess you guys just have to wait for the video to be uploaded for viewing. Some things just can't be avoided I believe. It's ok..I believe there will be more and other opportunity for Perfect Frosting in future.

Salam Takziah to Suhaimi Yusof and family.