Mamafai's Daily Dose

The Proud Mama

I'm a 35 year old woman brought into this world on February 23rd 1971 and married to the same man for 13 years, mother to 2 hilarious, extremely handsome boys and one beautiful baby boy, who was totally NOT planned, but who turned out to be the Joy of our lives, loves to drink ice tea and hot chocolate from Starbucks. There is more to me than just being a mother, I just don't remember any of it.

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This site and contents, unless otherwise noted, is a copyright of mine! This website is a place for me to draw together all aspects of my life into an enjoyable and interesting journal. You will find issues that are truly going on in my life at the current moment. Sometimes I can be sharp. I am also very open with my feelings and opinions. If you are part of my life and I love you, you'll read about it in my journal. If you are an idiot, guess what? It's in here too. Feel free to respond if you choose. However, leave my website if you can't handle reality. I dont give a damn!

The Way I Am

Mamafai's Daily Dose...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

..: Thoughts :..

I love pregnancy. I really do. I feel like I glow with the thought of having a life growing inside me again. Every once in a while, I get that warm cushy feeling - almost a bit smug and proud of myself.

I longed for this pregnancy to move along quickly so that I'd be showing and I could feel the movements of the baby. Before I know it, this little one will make his or her welcome appearance into this world and I won't be pregnant anymore. Although I can't wait to look into his or her eyes, the thought of no longer being pregnant will definitely saddens me.

Through all the enjoyable and drastic bits of this pregnancy so far, I've found myself worried a lot. I suppose that's what being a parent is all about , right? All of a sudden having another life in your hands and fiercely protecting it.

I still have not felt tickles from this little one. I'm not too worried though. I'm just glad that our next scan is next week. I'll bring back more pictures and post them here.

Mamafai wrote @ 11:49 PM |

Saturday, August 27, 2005

..: Ugggghhhhh!!! :..

I feel lousy. Again. What's wrong with me? Oh yeah, I'm pregnant. My mornings are fine and cheerful. As soon as I've had lunch, the nausea starts. I'm so afraid of puking on my bed that I get up every few minutes to go and stand in the bathroom, only to return without delivering the prize. So to speak.

My darling hubby joked with me on the phone a few minutes ago, "You had to go and get yourself pregnant, right?"

I always have to remind him that this was definitively a joint venture.

As far as the pregnancy goes, my most recent symptom is a real annoyance. I have a stuffy nose. Apparently, this seems quite common in pregnancy. My pregnancy book talks about it and they suggest breathing in warm steam from a shower or with a towel over head while you lean over a bowl of hot water. They suggest you do this a few times throughout the day as needed.

I think I'm gonna go try that out. Wish me luck!

Mamafai wrote @ 3:17 PM |

Sunday, August 21, 2005

..: Puking :..

I will never understand people who practice "voluntary vomiting".

Never.

Puking is one of my biggest fears in life. I will do anything and everything to stop myself from puking.

This pisses Dh off. "Just puke and you'll feel better."

Oh.Hell.No.

It hurts. You can't breathe, your head feels like it's going to blow up, your entire body tenses up and you pull stomach muscles.

No. I refuse to let myself "just do it".

But when you're pregnant, you can't control it. I hate this. My old tricks of running around the house breathing, or laying down and praying or repeating outloud "I will not puke, I will not puke" just aren't working. Nothing works. I can't fight it.

So people who purposely stick their fingers down their throats to puke, How? Why? I will never understand them...

Mamafai wrote @ 1:20 AM |

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

..: MEN!!! :..

Do not tell your PREGNANT wife you're going to buy her some OF HER FAVORITE ICECREAM and then come home WITHOUT HER FAVORITE ICE CREAM, you know, the ICE CREAM YOU TOLD HER YOU WERE GOING TO BUY, and then use the excuse "Well, I had forgotten"

Never, EVER DO THAT. EVER!!!!

Mamafai wrote @ 10:42 PM |

Monday, August 15, 2005

..: Pain, blood and discharge :..

While putting the kids to bed earlier, I picked up a Pregnancy Book and started reading. I pretty much have the book memorized from my previous pregnancies, but I always seem to learn something new when reading it.

In today's reading session, I was reminded of the hell that will be my life after giving birth to my baby.

*bloody, vaginal discharge.
*abdominal cramps.
*perinal discomfort, pain, numbness, especially if you had stitches. (pain worse with sneezing and coughing.
*discomfort sitting and walking.
*difficulty urinating for a day or two, difficulty and discomfort with bowel movements for the first few days.
*general soreness.
*bloodshot eyes, black and blue marks around eyes, cheeks, elsewhere from vigorous pushing.
*sweating, possibly profuse, after the first couple days.
*breast discomfort and engorgement.
*sore or cracked nipples if you are breastfeeding.

And that's putting it mildly. If I remember correctly, my tits were BLEEDING. Reading this brought it all back, fresh in my mind. The pain, the dicomfort, the not being able to sleep, the baby sucking on my tits and me crying because it hurts and I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP.

I know that it's a small price to pay for the miracle of the little life I'll have to love, but still. Just thinking about that, it freaks me out. And it makes me hate men. Hate them because they don't have their bodies torn to pieces, they don't bleed for days after the baby is born,they don't have milk squirting out of their tits, they don't have black eyes from pushing, they don't have to shit out the 3kg baby. They get to stand there and hold the baby all proud, their "weapon" fully intact and unaffected, "This is my baby, isn't he beautiful?" While the woman had to endure the pain and itch from the stitches.

I know it's not their fault, but I can still hate them for it. :P

Mamafai wrote @ 10:09 PM |

Thursday, August 11, 2005

..: Week of 7 :..

Sorry I haven't been around a lot lately. I just have been trying to stay off the computer, and pay more attention to the things going on in "real life". Once again, real life rears it's nasty little head. I've been fighting a really nasty case of headache. Well, I've been pretty worn out. Have not been able to eat well. It's days like these that I wonder if I'll ever pass through the dreaded first trimester into energy again.

The good news is, the scanning done last Monday shows the baby's heartbeat. In what seemed like less than a minute, the baby was measured, photographed, and pronounced good.

I couldn't be happier, more relieved, more excited.

Mamafai wrote @ 2:18 PM |

Saturday, August 06, 2005

..: Love, Sick :..

Nausea has permeated every cell of my body, all day long. Can one's hair be nauseous? Well, mine is.

This queasiness is a symptom of my pregnancy, which I've anticipated. It has stopped me in my tracks. Rather than racing from one chore to the next, I have been sitting and lying on the couch.

Normally, my two boys can find me in the kitchen baking, in the computer room blogging or just doing something. With all of this sitting on the couch, I have spent more time with my kids. It seems that when I stop, their orbit narrows. As they coast by, they stop for a hug and a kiss, or just to curl up under my arm for some quiet time. During one of these moments, Dh looked up at me and grin. I just had to tell him "Why don't I just sit a little more often?"

Last 2 days, the nausea overcame me. Lucky for me Dh was on leave. He and dad handled all meals and childcare. In between, he grocery shopped, , rubbed my feet, and completed a few projects around the house. He even did some laundry, for which I immediately felt sorry for him. Meanwhile, I slept until 10 a.m. and plotting my next attempt at solid food. I ignored the filthy carpets, sticky floors and smelly bathrooms.

So, besides signaling the possibility of a new baby, my nausea has reminded me to just stop, long enough to get a hug, to recharge, to appreciate my husband and dad. For all of this, I'm thankful.

And for today's craving...

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Mamafai wrote @ 8:38 PM |

Thursday, August 04, 2005

..: 6 Weeks :..

Well, the best thing about being pregnant is this time I am blogging. I was always so bad about keeping records of my pregnancies before. There are virtually no pictures of me pregnant. I remember certain things, but not in detail. I didn't start blogging until Afzal was born. This time will be different I think.

Already, I'm showing a distinct lack of appetite. Eating one meal is enough to get me through the day. I'm craving fruit, but it gives me kindda horrible taste. I'm craving KFC. Once again, I can't stand the thought of eating chicken on the bone. So far the nausea is bad and lasts most of the day. I'm exhausted already, and need to nap in the afternoon. I don't have a lot of motivation right now. I don't want to clean or do anything necessary.

Wait, is that different than normal? I don't see any physical changes yet except for the breast pain. Who knows. If I could get over the tired feeling, I'd feel almost normal. Of course I'm catching another cold. Why do I always seem to get sick as soon as I find out I'm pregnant?

*sigh* The problem with finding out so early is that it makes for a long 9 months.

The first trimester is only beginning, and the worst is yet to come.

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Mamafai wrote @ 6:49 PM |