Mamafai's Daily Dose

The Proud Mama

I'm a 35 year old woman brought into this world on February 23rd 1971 and married to the same man for 13 years, mother to 2 hilarious, extremely handsome boys and one beautiful baby boy, who was totally NOT planned, but who turned out to be the Joy of our lives, loves to drink ice tea and hot chocolate from Starbucks. There is more to me than just being a mother, I just don't remember any of it.

Her Little Princes

She Reads

Her Creations

Click here for the codes!

This site and contents, unless otherwise noted, is a copyright of mine! This website is a place for me to draw together all aspects of my life into an enjoyable and interesting journal. You will find issues that are truly going on in my life at the current moment. Sometimes I can be sharp. I am also very open with my feelings and opinions. If you are part of my life and I love you, you'll read about it in my journal. If you are an idiot, guess what? It's in here too. Feel free to respond if you choose. However, leave my website if you can't handle reality. I dont give a damn!

The Way I Am

Mamafai's Daily Dose...

Thursday, September 30, 2004

..: I Am Too Tired To Think Of A Title Tonite :..

I remembered when I was sick as a child, my mom would sit by my bed and wipe my forehead with a cool cloth. She would sit there and keep me company and reassure me that I was going to get better. She did this even though I would often pass my yucky bugs on to her, so she would be sitting there feeling like shit but yet, I was more important at the time. I know why she did it, for the same reason that I have done it for the past 2 nights. She loved me and I was her kid, I love my kids and they need me when they're sick.

However, I now know that there were moments where she was wiping my forehead for the umpteenth time that she was secretly praying to god that I would conk out so that she could creep quietly back to her own bed and pass out in a fever induced coma. I know this because I just spent the last 3 1/2 hours praying to god to knock my kids out for the night so that I could crawl back to my bed. Crawl back to the bed that I share with my snoring husband. The bed that I can't sleep in now because with the blinding headache that I have, his snoring sounds like a train moving in my brain!

I have taken some panadols and I am still not able to sleep. I am praying that my kids don't wake up because if they do, I am duty bound to go and wipe little foreheads, give little kisses and tell my sweet babies that they will soon be better, all with a reassuring smile on my face because that's what the Mama does. And while doing so, I will be silently giving my mother the long overdue praise and thanks for doing the same for me when I was a kid.

Now if I can just shut DH up !

Mamafai wrote @ 1:35 AM |

Monday, September 27, 2004

..: You Can't Be Bored! :..

My five year old has a room full of toys. Hundreds of dollars worth of stuff to do! So why do I feel so guilty whenever I spend time on the computer and he tells me he is bored?

Please, go play!

Mamafai wrote @ 1:41 PM |

Sunday, September 26, 2004

..: Rejuvenation :..

Another one done up for you guys! It's available now in blogskins.

Another version, with a different picture :P (You can search for Rejuvenation II in blogskins)

Mamafai wrote @ 4:12 AM |

Saturday, September 25, 2004

..: Tying Knots :..

She was gorgeous! I cannot believe that she is now someone's wife. Time flew very fast indeed. I can only remember, she was just a little girl! Congratulations to both of you and may you have a blissful marriage! Always remember that life is always not a bed of roses. Take it one at a time and insyallah all will be fine.

Anyway, the wedding was great. The deco were beautiful, the food were good and the entertainment was even better. I managed to catch up with most of my cousins, relatives, old neighbours and of course these 3 beautiful nieces :P

Mamafai wrote @ 11:50 PM |

Friday, September 24, 2004

..: Real Dreams :..

Two nights in a row I have had the most real dreams. Only last night were major nightmares. Two of them! Both staring my husband doing very dark and violent things to me. I woke up and tried to shake it off by walking around the living room, but as soon as I fell asleep I was right back in hell. They were very unthinkable and bloody things.

I don't know why, I thought this morning, maybe I am mad at DH and don't really know it yet??? But I think I would have been the bad guy, not him if that were so??? Maybe he's mad at me???? I don't know, but I may be a little too scared to go to sleep tonight.

Mamafai wrote @ 11:35 AM |

Thursday, September 23, 2004

..: Only A Dream :..

Ever dream something really good, wake up and have to think hard if it was a dream or not? Last night I dreamt that I had 2 million, it felt so real. Then woke up to check my bank account, only to find out the same amount, damn!

Mamafai wrote @ 9:28 AM |

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

..: Bedtime Story :..

Check this out. I just love to watch him sleeping...

Mamafai wrote @ 8:14 PM |

..: What's for Lunch Today? :..

Went for my doctor's appointment this morning. After sending Asyraf to school, we headed to Sun Plaza for Lunch at Cavana. The food was ok but of course, you can get a better Chicken Rice at a lesser price ;) . I do love their lemon drink though, better than the one in Mac Donalds.

Mamafai wrote @ 4:38 PM |

Sunday, September 19, 2004

..: Somewhere Only We Know :..

This skin has a very personal touch for me. It's up on blogskins. You may want to edit the title to your own preferences.

Mamafai wrote @ 1:15 PM |

Saturday, September 18, 2004

..: Bumper Stickers :..

Dh just brought home a bumper sticker that a friend of his gave to him. It simply reads this :

Husbands Don't Trust Wives!

Me thinks I should go get a custom sticker that reads :

Don't Cook or Clean Up for Husbands Who Doesn't Trust Wives!

It's always interesting when you have a conservative hubby and a liberal wife living together... ;)

Mamafai wrote @ 2:25 PM |

Friday, September 17, 2004

..: Make Over :..

Finally, the mood to change my template is back again!!! I think this one is gonna stay with me for awhile unless I very the gatal. Been cracking my brains for ideas! Selalu tu macam...kalau takda idea, pecah kepala pun cannot come out with anything.

I still owe my niece her skin...heheh (sorry ain! picture dah ada...it just doesn't come out right...gotta gimme sometime!)

I've removed my tagboard temporarily. It's now 5.44am and I haven't gotten any sleep. My head is beginning to spin, so I'd better rest my brain! Will reconfigure it when I have the time. Rest well everyone!

Mamafai wrote @ 5:34 AM |

Thursday, September 16, 2004

..: Good times with good friend :..

It was a great time! I spent almost half of my day with her. Where did we go? We went to settle our bills and spent the rest of the time in causeway point. I just need some fresh air after hibernating at home for too long. It was fun... she bought me lunch at Long John Silver and we got crazy at bodyshop over perfumes and hair clips at chameleon. Thank you friend, for the lunch, for chauffering me to and fro and to Asyraf's school!

Now I started thinking about friends. Blogging friends in particular. I got my first taste of blogging friends sometime last year. These are the first two friends (Trina and Lyana)that I got together face to face and got to be very close to. Even though each one of us are always occupied with our own personal task, we never seem to fail to keep in touch with each other.

Sometimes in your life you find a good group of people, they can come to know you and be closer to you than many people in your day to day life. Of course, again there is a level of trust. I 've realized that I really do appreciate all these friends. I am just so thankful that they cross my path. I guess the real friendship behind them will never die even when they change. Thank you friends for being a great friend!

(Thank you also to darling baby, Sham and KT!)

Mamafai wrote @ 7:50 PM |

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

..: Recent News - My Skins :..

I have made some changes to the skins that I have uploaded to blogskins.com. I have either removed the ads or have made some adjustment to the skins so that it will not overlap with the blogspot ads. For those of you who are using my skins, do download them again to have a better view and do not forget to upload the pictures to your own servers!

Enjoy editing! :P

Mamafai wrote @ 11:54 PM |

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

..: Family ties :..

Family is a funny thing. Odds are strong that no one has been there for you in quite the way your family has. Ever been through the same experiences. Been there to help you in good times and bad, share your happiness and rough times. That said, no one ever bugs you quite the way that your family does. Birth family, in-laws, your spouse and children.

Really, though, we take those closest to us for granted. They are the ones who bear the balance of our frustration, when we have an argument with a sales girl or are cut off in traffic. It's not acceptable in society to blow up at the sales girl, so we wait until we get to the car and yell at the kids for taking too long to get into the car. A lack of sleep for me almost always leads to crabbiness with the kids. My rationale, and it's a poor one, is that they are MY kids. MY husband, and it's the only time that I can be myself. I don't have to put on that pretty front, that calm face, the quiet voice. I can let it all out.

They aren't yours. The kids, the husband, the parents. All are on loan from God. He expects you to do your best with them. Is yelling and screaming, while cathartic for you, really the best you can give? Would you hold on to yourself and ask calmly? Why is a stranger's child, to whom you have no allegiance , the recepient of your best? Would you speak to your neighbour in the tone of voice you just spoke to your husband? If you knew that there was a camera on your shoulder, would you drive the way you do? Would you mutter under your breath?

I wouldn't. I need to remember that. I need to remember not to save the best for the strangers, for those I will never see again, but to splurge it on my family. What does it matter if those I barely know think well of me, and my family hates me? It matters. It's important. And so are they.

Mamafai wrote @ 6:54 PM |

Monday, September 13, 2004

..: Sickie :..

Been down with flu and fever + sinus infection. Haven't been sleeping well at night. Hopefully the antibiotics will clear that up quickly!

Mamafai wrote @ 4:32 PM |

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

..: Barney Boy :..

Well, maybe it makes me a bad mommy... but when I'm tired, having a headache and the boys refused to sleep, there is nothing better than being able to throw Barney VCD in the player and have two little boys cuddle up and watch intently. This is one of the VCDs that really keeps their attention for a while. Afzal is so funny, he'll grab his Barney and look at it, look at the screen, look at it, look at the screen... on and on. It's so cute.

Mamafai wrote @ 11:33 PM |

..: Oppps! :..

There's nothing like putting food in the oven, setting the timer, waiting for forty-five minutes, and when the buzzer goes off realizing that you never turned the oven on.

*sigh*

Mamafai wrote @ 4:39 PM |

Sunday, September 05, 2004

..: OW! :..

I've decided that being sick makes me overestimate the time and energy it takes to do anything. For the last couple of weeks (or should I say months..), I've been stressing over work and some personal stuff. Some recent events in real life have just stressed me out to no end, some which I cannot mention here. The doctor had given me medical leave till end of the month to be fully recovered. I am hanging in there.

Except for a lingering annoying cough, I think I'm free of the fever. I am also trying to keep to myself at the moment, I seem to be hypersensitive and take things the wrong way all the time. I am just trying to get over it somehow. I hope I can rest well without feeling too sick and without any work-related issues hanging over my head.

Such is life I guess but I'm alive, doing ok, a little depressed, a little pain and overall really stressed. I just want life to get back to normal for a while. I hope I won't have to deal with all these stress forever. I'm tired of it.

On the other hand, dad seems to be progressing well. He had the stitches removed yesterday and begining to eat well. He's doing good, I'm glad!

Mamafai wrote @ 2:26 PM |

Thursday, September 02, 2004

..: Forever Friends :..

Another skin dedicated to all my friends! It's up on blogskins. Don't forget to download the picture on your own server.

Mamafai wrote @ 1:50 AM |