Mamafai's Daily Dose

The Proud Mama

I'm a 35 year old woman brought into this world on February 23rd 1971 and married to the same man for 13 years, mother to 2 hilarious, extremely handsome boys and one beautiful baby boy, who was totally NOT planned, but who turned out to be the Joy of our lives, loves to drink ice tea and hot chocolate from Starbucks. There is more to me than just being a mother, I just don't remember any of it.

Her Little Princes

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This site and contents, unless otherwise noted, is a copyright of mine! This website is a place for me to draw together all aspects of my life into an enjoyable and interesting journal. You will find issues that are truly going on in my life at the current moment. Sometimes I can be sharp. I am also very open with my feelings and opinions. If you are part of my life and I love you, you'll read about it in my journal. If you are an idiot, guess what? It's in here too. Feel free to respond if you choose. However, leave my website if you can't handle reality. I dont give a damn!

The Way I Am

Mamafai's Daily Dose...

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

..: Things happened :..

I am horribly behind on my blog and other things. Forgive me, but I probably won't be around much for this week. Health has not been good and I am horribly stressed about it. Add in the fact that some thing happened and I just don't have it in me to do anything at the moment. I'll try to make a comeback soon I hope.

Mamafai wrote @ 7:24 PM |

Sunday, July 25, 2004

..: Loving You :..

I did this in favour for a fren who is getting married soon. Don't think this is gonna be one of my best work but she just loves it and refuse to let me change anything. Well if its gonna make her happy, I am just gonna leave it as it is. For you guys who are gonna get married and wants to use this skin, by all means grab it from blogskins. For you guys who aren't getting married but still wants to use this skin, you may go ahead and change the picture if you like.

Mamafai wrote @ 9:59 PM |

..: Craves :..

For weeks I had been craving for this . Earlier this week, she had this on her blog which made me crave more. I can never find any which is as good as homemade ones. So this morning I decided to wake up early (as early as 6am - can you believe it??) and made the family a homemade Soto Ayam and only to find out that DH was craving for it too..

So today we'll have Soto Ayam for breakfast, lunch and dinner! :P

Mamafai wrote @ 12:10 PM |

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

..: Own it up! :..

Is it me or is there a sudden rash of people who don't want to own up to their mistakes? Big or small, I feel like everyone I talk to is leaving parts of the story out, or bringing up their painful childhood, or whining about the hurt leftover from some tiny thing I did 10 years ago? People, grow up and own your SH**! If you did something wrong, stupid or erroneous, well, dammit, it can't be undone, but it CERTAINLY won't be made better by lying about it. (And remember, a lie of ommission is STILL a lie.) What are the odds that people won't find out about it? And even if they don't, GOD will know!

So what's the point? I'm working on being honest with myself and my loved ones, to provide a good example for my children. I was brought up with honesty being the best policy. Of course, it's within reason...you don't need to hurt people constantly by telling them they look like hell, or endanger your job by telling your boss what you REALLY think of him. Intelligence should rule here. And in my opinion, honesty is the only intelligent route. So own your mistakes. It's the only way to stop being stupid and get closer to being the better human being you know you really want to be.

Mamafai wrote @ 10:57 PM |

Monday, July 19, 2004

..: Anger :..

I've noticed lately that my anger seems disproportional to the situation and that it lasts a long time. It's been that way since I took up this job. I've always been a passionate person...not necessarily restricted to hot-tempered, but yes, I naturally am that way. I have to struggle very hard to fight it, and before, I think I was making good progress.

Here is why I think I've been controlling it so poorly of late. Like this morning when I stepped into the office, I thought this will be a good week for me but as usual, it started out as early as 9am when customer started to jump at me. I don't just mean one of these things per day, but the multitude of "little" things (that you're not supposed to sweat) that add up to a bad day. But of course, the kids are just the innocent ones, so I have to repress my feelings. (Repress and reblog, repress and reblog.) So when something not children-related and negative happens around me , I think that subconsiously (or maybe even on a recessed conscious level), I give myself permission to blow a fuse, and then I spend the next day or so fanning the fire.

The said truth is that, well, I HATE being The Angry Woman. The Angry Woman is the pissy bitch on line in front of you, making a big deal about the bills. The Angry Woman is in the coffee shop, with her coffee and goreng pisang too cold. The Angry Woman neatly reminds you that it's YOUR fault that she took an item with no barcode in a supermaket, and she had to get another one. I don't like that woman, but I can see her in myself. Not at the supermarket or the post office, but in my home.

She doesn't yell at random strangers, she yells at her husband, and oh, yea, she yells at herself. She calls herself stupid, lame, useless. Lately, she needed to throw things or bang a fist into something. I hate her, and I damn well don't want her to live here any more. If only I knew how to get her to move the hell out, I would.

Mamafai wrote @ 9:55 PM |

Saturday, July 17, 2004

..: Mac D :..

Blogging from McDonald's Harbour Front...

You must be wondering what I am doing here at this hour... hehe..brought the kids to the beach this evening and Asyraf didn't want to go back. Keep telling DH he doesn't want to go back. Still want to jalan-jalan. We were really out of ideas where to bring them...so we ended up here.

Not a bad idea actually..heheh.. I get to blog, Asyraf gets to play his disney channel , DH gets to read his papers and Afzal gets to play with his balloons.

And everyone are happy :)

Mamafai wrote @ 10:30 PM |

..: Press Pound to Scream!!! :..

Has anyone else noticed that when you call some companies or banks you get transferred to an automated voice system? I know that maybe I am an old fashioned type, but honestly, I kind of want to talk to a person when I call someone for service. I know in this day and age, it is supposedly easier to talk to the automated, but to me its just downright frustrating. I am ready to scream because I don’t care to talk to the motorized voice. So my question is, am I the only one who feels this way? Or is this a common feeling for all?

Mamafai wrote @ 2:55 PM |

Thursday, July 15, 2004

..: My Spiderman Version :..

I cannot resist creating one! Hope you guys love this! As usual you can get it here.

Mamafai wrote @ 8:18 PM |

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

..: Moments :..

This skin was ready since last week. Didn't have the time to upload it on blogskins. Did a little tweaking and have just uploaded it. This skin is specially design for all mothers to be. For non-mothers to be, if you like this design, go ahead and use it and you are allowed to replace the photo with your own!

Mamafai wrote @ 11:38 PM |

..: Being Adults :..

I've been MIA for a few days. I've had a few very very rocky days this week. An amazing lack of energy, coupled with kids who all seemed to need me at the same time, and a house that can't stay clean. I hate being adult sometimes.

Our household has something just wonderful - the GASTRIC FLU. Asyraf and Afzal had it last 2 weeks and came down sick again on Sunday. I started late Sunday night. DH now has it.

What I hate about this whole deal is I still have to work tomorrow. All I really want to do is fall into bed and pull the covers up until next week.

Mamafai wrote @ 12:44 PM |

Saturday, July 10, 2004

..: Minds :..

Do you ever wonder if your mind works like everybody else's? I mean, sure the basics are probably the same. But what about the thought processes. Does the way you reason things out bear any resemblance to the way anyone else does?

So, we are told that our minds work differently than a normal person's mind. We're told that situations that other people can go through with ease can be trigger situations for us. Personally, I think that is a load of crap.

I mean we all deal with tough things (stress, tragedy, anger) in different ways. Some people exercise (I don't know any, but I hear they exist.) Some people use pills. The thing is, we are all weird. My weird may be your normal. And trust me, usually my normal is your weird.

Okay, try this sometime. Clear your brain as best you can. Try really hard to just calm your thoughts and be still. Be in a completely silent place where there are no distractions. Now, what does your mind do? Where did it go? Mine usually takes a trip through jingle-land and comes up with some doozies like "I am stuck on Band-Aid, cause Band- Aid's stuck on me." Bet no one else's mind had that pop up. See. The point is, none of our minds work in the same way. There is no normal. There is definitely crazy, however. But, that is an entirely different topic all together.

I admit there are times when I wish I could be in someone else's mind just for a while to see how they think. I know that there are many times that something that seems totally logical and reasonable to me, can make my husband just scratch his head in wonderment. (The opposite is true, too.) I think I would hop into the mind of an organized, logical person first. Now there is a thought process that is totally foreign to me. Nah. It would probably scare me too much.

So I suppose I will just go on thinking like I do, reacting like I do and processing things like I do. Because I can. And even on those days when I know my mind doesn't work like "everyone else's", I can rest assured that everyone else's mind doesn't work like anyone else's either. (Did you follow that? It doesn't matter if you didn't. Your mind doesn't work like mine.)

Mamafai wrote @ 11:53 AM |

Thursday, July 08, 2004

..: Bosses :..

Not all bosses are nasty. I have work with nice bosses before but there is this one particular boss that I adore most. Not only that he is good looking (hehehe...), he is also a people's manager. He can be heart throbbing at times.

This morning I had to make an urgent call to one of my collegue who happened to have the same name as this boss. The call goes like this ....

me : xxx, eh that escalation customer, don't call him. I've already called him yesterday and service recovery done!

xxx : who are you?

me : Fai ah!

xxx : you change handphone no again?

me : ya lah... I informed everyone what? How come you dunno? Never mind..DON'T CALL THE CUSTOMER!

xxx : what customer???

oops..then I realised I must have called the wrong XXX. Paiseh..paiseh!

me : eh sorry ! sorry! I have called wrong person!

xxx : alamak you... I thought my brain had malfunctioned this morning.

me : I thought you my collegue ah

xxx : now I become your collegue? hehehe... I am in training now call you later.

Then the sms goes like this...

xxx : miss me also no need like that la... will call you for lunch end of the month

me : hehe..sorry ah..ok but my treat.

xxx : take care sweetie and have a great day! (melting - boleh cair aku di buatnya!)

He really made my day! All my nasty customer seems to be perfect customers today... :P

Mamafai wrote @ 6:02 PM |

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

..: Prayer :..

Received this in the mail from a fren earlier. It really did cheer me up today :P

Mamafai wrote @ 7:54 PM |

..: Education :..

Asyraf is 4 and learning to read. He is constantly spelling things out - "What does P-I-Z-Z-A spell, mama? How do you spell friend?" and on and on. He brings books in the car with him and copies words out of them. He's also learning maths, and wants us all to give him math problems, and he is obsessed with tallying. He leaves notes all over the house and half of them are unreadable.

All of this new knowledge is great. It's wonderful to see him learning so much, and his desire to learn is unstoppable. It annoys the older kids though, and that brought to my mind a question. I've seen it with my nephews. When do people outgrow that thirst, that quest for knowledge? When does school become more of a chore, and less exciting? Now, school is a chore, learning a burden.

It seems to me that when kids are in school, the desire to learn and expand the mind is lost. It doesn't really come back until you are an adult. It makes me wonder if the current school system is all it's cracked up to be, and yet I can't imagine it any other way. *sigh*..I'm now all worried for my kids...

Mamafai wrote @ 12:14 AM |

Monday, July 05, 2004

..: Happy for a friend :..

I am so happy for my fren. You know who you are! :) I hope and pray this time things are gonna turn out right for you. Don't put up so much hope (but I can't help it myself!!!) Pray..pray and lots of prayers! I am going to pray for you too dear fren! Can't say much right now but can't wait to blog about it if it happens! :P

Mamafai wrote @ 11:47 PM |

Sunday, July 04, 2004

..: Women :..

Lately I've recognized that women are divided into several different groups. Women with children, working women with children, working women without children. Unfortunately, for all our alleged gender-strengths - nurturing, compassion, sensitivity - we can't seem to surpass our differences.

I have made a big effort, as have my mother-friends who don't work, to bridge the gap between us. The truth is that at one time most of them worked, so they have an understanding of what my daily life is like. I stay home with my kids two out of seven days, after which I am completely exhausted and convinced that full-time moms must have some superhuman quality that keeps them going. I have supreme respect for their status as 24-hour caregivers.

But, there's still an unspoken division, an underlying judgment of women who make different choices than we do. Admit it. We've all had these thoughts. For example, when I am in the minority, one of the only working-mom in a group, there is a feeling of guilt, real or imagined, that comes over me. When the opposite is true, when I am in the majority, I catch myself having a feeling of self-importance as if I'm the only woman in a business suit with baby milk on her shoulder.

Believe it or not, within the workplace another division between women exists, between those with kids and those without. The ones without children feel cheated, like they are asked to do more work and pick the slack. The reality - some of this is true, it happens. Companies do expect their childless workers who appear to have fewer personal responsibilities to pick up the slack, and no, it's not fair. Mothers are aware of this office talk and have the "walk a mile in my shoes" reaction. Having children is a choice. Having children and working is a choice. But it doesn't mean you aren't exhausted and pulled in a million different directions. That's the reality.

After analyzing these divisions, I'm no closer to answering the question of how to bring women together. The truth is having children bonds women. Sharing a similar career path bonds women. But we can't seem to overcome our differences, the different choices we make and how the world treats us as a result. Ultimately, I would like to support all women, women who make the same choices I do, women who make different choices. Until we stop judging one another, people will still continue to judge us.

Mamafai wrote @ 9:58 PM |

Saturday, July 03, 2004

..: Playtime :..

Mama! I Prince Charming. You Princess Fiona. Lie down!" Asyraf pulls me to the couch to lie down and pretend to be sleeping. He then sees the "dragon" (aka Afzal's Barney) and pretends to fight him with a mix of swordplay and martial arts moves. He gives me a tissue for Princess Fiona to give to Shrek and two seconds later takes it back to wipe his face with.

A brief moment later and he's running around like a lunatic. "I'm Harry Potter! This is my broom!" "Chhh... you're a frog!"

Only a minute later he's Power Ranger then back to being Prince Charming. He jumps on his horse and rides off for a minute.

Still as Prince Charming he's asking for Princess Fiona. I'm assigned the role of Fairy Godmother and Afzal is Puss in Boots. Again he's on his horse riding to rescue Princess Fiona only to discover a wolf (Barney) in Fiona's bed. Now he's Shrek again. He pretends to drink a potion and is amazed to find that he has a "cute button nose" all of a sudden. "But I an OGRE! I no have a cute button nose!"

Finally Puss in Boots (Afzal) needs to eat so the Fairy Godmother has to take him to be fed and so Asyraf was on his own. Not having anyone to roleplay with him doesn't slow him down for a second. He's a random prince, he's a king and an ogre, a fairy godmother and a cat. He has no limits to his imagination. He has me in hysterics with his antics and in tears with how adorable he is.

My little boy is simply amazing. It's moments like these that makes me love being a mummy.

Mamafai wrote @ 10:03 PM |

..: Shower of Love :..

I was on the phone with a fren earlier when Asyraf called out and said Afzal was in the toilet. This was what he was doing... :P

Mamafai wrote @ 4:33 PM |