Mamafai's Daily Dose

The Proud Mama

I'm a 35 year old woman brought into this world on February 23rd 1971 and married to the same man for 13 years, mother to 2 hilarious, extremely handsome boys and one beautiful baby boy, who was totally NOT planned, but who turned out to be the Joy of our lives, loves to drink ice tea and hot chocolate from Starbucks. There is more to me than just being a mother, I just don't remember any of it.

Her Little Princes

She Reads

Her Creations

Click here for the codes!

This site and contents, unless otherwise noted, is a copyright of mine! This website is a place for me to draw together all aspects of my life into an enjoyable and interesting journal. You will find issues that are truly going on in my life at the current moment. Sometimes I can be sharp. I am also very open with my feelings and opinions. If you are part of my life and I love you, you'll read about it in my journal. If you are an idiot, guess what? It's in here too. Feel free to respond if you choose. However, leave my website if you can't handle reality. I dont give a damn!

The Way I Am

Mamafai's Daily Dose...

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

..: Getting rid of the junk (inside and out) :..

There is one thing I have loved about this whole "gotta move" thing in life. It has really opened up my eyes to a lot of things I have allowed myself to do or happen to me that, really, I shouldn't. It has really been a growing experience.

For one thing, I have learned that I don't have to keep gifts that sucks. If someone gave me something that I will never use and have no purpose for and, frankly, would rather not ever have to look at it again, I really don't have to keep it around years after years in storage. Along those same lines, I also don't have to keep things that I do like while just waiting for that "One Day" when I will figure out just what to do with it. (In fact, I just gave one of my friend a gorgeous crystal vase that I have had for years that I had no idea how to use in my decorating scheme. She was thrilled and loves it and is already using it in her bathroom. See, my dust collector became her centerpiece. And I love that!) Oh sure, it's not always fun and games! It totally sucked getting rid of those jeans that "Oh sure I will fit my a** into them again reeaaalllyyyy soon. Honest". But, that gave me not only room in my closet, but hangers.

Now, if you step away from "stuff", then you have the other things in my life I have let go of. Those are the best. I have really learned who I am and what really matters to me. Staying friends with people I truly care about...important. Giving a damn what people that I don't care about think...meaningless. Realizing that I don't have to be put into anyone else's mold of what a Mom "should be" has been a big helper. Admitting that I am just not going to fit in with someone that I have tried so hard to be friends with is a good thing. It is good to know that I am not one of them. Of course, there are some friends that I have made have meant everything to me and those are the friends that you can tell anything to (I mean anything!) Thanks girls..you know who you are!!!

Mamafai wrote @ 12:02 AM |

Monday, June 28, 2004

..: Birthday Bash! :..

We had a "Birthday Bash" at work this evening. Its a monthly kindda event that we have at work. Only this time round its our team that was organising it. We had a theme of "Shrek". Everyone seems to enjoy the evening with games and prizes...

I'll try to put up the photos tomorrow at work. For now..here are the beauty queens! (Mak Queen in the centre!)

Mamafai wrote @ 11:55 PM |

Sunday, June 27, 2004

..: Wedding cum Reunion :..

Was at Sham's bro's wedding earlier... at the same time a reunion with my best frens. Didn't get to stay for long. After looking at the photos..I just realised how much I've missed them...

Mamafai wrote @ 9:56 PM |

..: Coffee Lovers :..

Created this for the Coffee Lovers.

Oh and mommies...for those of you who did not receive my SMS. The Blog article will be publish on Tuesday instead of Tomorrow!

Mamafai wrote @ 2:16 AM |

Saturday, June 26, 2004

..: I'm Every Woman :..

Trina has given up this template. I have put it up on blogskins for you guys to use.

Mamafai wrote @ 1:38 AM |

..: My favourite son :..

When I was a little girl, I remembered asking my mom if I was her favorite. I was convinced that she would either agree that, yes, I was indeed her favorite, thus providing me with excellent fuel for fights with my brother or she would say no, which of course would make me angry. I knew Mom would never make me angry. However, she had an answer all ready for me.

"I have no 'favorite child.' I love both of you equally, but in very different ways," she said.

What? Even as a child I knew that was a crock. Surely, one of us is her favourite. Yet, Mom never gave me any other answer than that. (My brother later confirmed that he, too, had heard that same answer when he tried to ask her that question.)

I promised myself I would come up with something better for my kids. Better yet, I would love each of them so much and with such passion, they would never think to ask the question. (Naivety is cute, isn't it?)

Fast-forward my life about 33 years. My son and I are snuggling, and he leans over and whispers in my ear, "Mama? Am I your favourite son?"

I freeze and play deaf.

"Mama? Who is your favorite son?" he says a bit more forcefully.

I run through my possible answers. I hear my mother's answer blaring in my head. No! I won't say that! I have had 33 years to come up with an answer. You'd think I would know what to say. Silence. And a stare that says he wants an answer.

Quick...Think...Think. What do I really feel? Well, I think to myself, I love each of my children so much more than I could ever put into words. Each one of them holds a special place in my heart that belongs to them alone. I don't love one of them more than the other. I love both of them equally. Only, it is different with each one of them.

Then I hear myself say, "Abang, I have no 'favorite son' I love you and adik equally, but in very different ways."

I guess Mom knew what she was talking about after all. (Just don't tell her I said that!) :P

Mamafai wrote @ 12:13 AM |

Thursday, June 24, 2004

..: Do Me A Favor - Have a Courtesy! :..

You know what I miss? Good manners. Seems to be a hard thing to come by these days and it isn't just among children- adults are slacking in the manners department as well. I think this is absolutely unacceptable, irresponsible and well- sad. Good manners should be commonplace. They should not be something that one has to stop and consider doing, they should be an automatic response to kind gestures and courtesy extended by others. It all boils down to respect and sadly, it seems that respect is becoming a rare thing.

Now I'm not perfect but I always try my best to instill good manners most of the time. How hard can it be to have a common courtesy? Especially when someone does something nice for you?? No one does it anymore. Adults certainly don't anymore. No one even tries to go out of their way to do something for others. It's like we are afraid of pissing the other person off. What's happening to this world?

I think that if more people minded their manners and had respect for one another, this world wouldn't be going to hell in a handbasket the way that it is.

Respect! If you can't extend it, then don't even bother talking to me.

Mamafai wrote @ 9:27 AM |

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

..: Food Mood Swings :..

I've been obsessed with popiahs lately and have made it twice within the last week.

I go through food mood swings and usually there's a food-of-the-moment that I could eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner for days on end. The food-swing will peter out and a new obsession will develop.

I've always loved home made popiahs, sometimes I had it for breakfast and I'll likely have it during lunch too. I will usually make it a lot and stock it in the fridge.

I have been obsessed with kway teows too lately and had it thrice last week...hmmm I am worst than a pregnant women. I had these for breakfast this morning...

(pic taken from 6610i mobile phone)

Mamafai wrote @ 9:41 AM |

Sunday, June 20, 2004

..: Stars of the day :..

The blogging mommies were interviewed and will be featured in Berita Harian sometime this week. Do look out for it. Err..it could be either on Wednesday or Sunday.

Thank you to her for making it happen. Thank you to the mommies that also helped to make this happen. Sampai ada yang tak tidur malam... (*wink to someone*).

Oh and of course thanks to all the daddies for looking after the kids during the interview. It's suppose to be Father's day but it endup to be Mommies' day instead!

More here.

Mamafai wrote @ 9:58 PM |

..: Precious Moments :..

Dh took this candid snap earlier and I just love it. I did some editing to it and Dh seems to love it more...

Mamafai wrote @ 1:34 AM |

Saturday, June 19, 2004

..: Weekends Again! :..

Weekend is here again... I hope this will be a good weekend as I had a really bad week days.

On the other hand, I am looking forward to meet the mommies tomorrow for a little activity. I am sure they are as excited as me. Something to spice up their mommies' day and life! Can't say much right now... but do stay tune for the updates!

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Mamafai wrote @ 9:48 AM |

Friday, June 18, 2004

...: Mama come home... :...

When we hold our tiny infant in our arms for the very first time, we see them as the most needy creatures in the world. After all, they can't do anything for themselves. Infants need us to feed them, diaper them, dress them. We long for the days when the infant turns into a child, an independent child.

But just as no one prepares us for having a baby, no one prepares us for having a child - a thinking, feeling, emotional child who can make us angrier than you-know-what one moment, and laugh until our belly aches the next. A child who can dress himself, brush his teeth, turn off the television, but can't go to bed without one more hug... A child who delights in playing with other children, but clings to my legs at times. A child who calls my mobile phone every night when I stay late at work and says: "Mama, come home!"

I promised myself I would never bow to the emotional blackmail of his requests. I would calmly tell him that I would be home "soon," and that he would simply have to wait to read books or play with me. But lately, the words are getting to me. Now, I'm also getting: "Mama don't go," on the rare event when I leave the house without him.

The other night I was driving home from work and decided to go to the NTUC to do my groceries.My mobile phone rang, once again I was greeted with the husky four-year-old's voice: "Mamma, come home NOW." I explained I was going to the NTUC. He said it again: "Mama, come home NOW."

It took just a second and I made a decision. "Okay," I said, "I'll come home."

"Really?" he said.

"Really," I said.

I went home. I was glad I did.

Mamafai wrote @ 11:25 AM |

Thursday, June 17, 2004

..: I hate tomorrow... :..

Headache pretty much knocked me on my a** all day. Only to wake up tomorrow to find it back again.

Wouldn't be so bad if this was the actual headache, but it's just the "work" headache. It feels like a hot vice grip is squeezing the shit out of my skull. I see imaginary fireflies. Sick to my stomach!!!

It's warning me that a bad headcrushing monster is on the way. It's reminding me that I have no medicine to stop it. Can't wait for the weekend cause the monster will stay away during weekends. And that's it...it will come back again on Monday!!!

That's a scary thoughts about work!!!

Mamafai wrote @ 11:58 PM |

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

..: Stupid People! :..

I just have to spit this out because I think it is unprofessional and stupid. I'm really hating work today because of these stupid people. I can't work with people who are as dumb as a dishwasher!

I am really getting too tired. Why do people do this? I hate it when people point fingers without doing a lick of research first. I just hope I'll be getting some good news from DH soon....

When you start to drag yourself to work... its really not a good sign!

Mamafai wrote @ 3:50 PM |

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

..: Dim Sum Nite :..

Met Lyana and Trina last night for a dim sum dinner. It's been quite awhile since the three of us hangout together. It's either I met Lyana without Trina or I met Trina without Lyana. As usual we had a good time. Do what? - what else??? EAT AND BITCH!

Must do it again soon...heheh!

Click here for more.

Mamafai wrote @ 12:00 AM |

Monday, June 14, 2004

:.. The Work Week is Too Long! ..:

I don't think I complain about any one day nearly as much as I complain about Mondays. I just don't like them.

Today is one of those Mondays that sucks!

I hope this week goes fast.

Mamafai wrote @ 2:55 PM |

Saturday, June 12, 2004

..: I love.. :..

I love...

I love that the first thing my Afzal wants to do in the morning is snuggle with me. How he asks for it first thing. That body to body, hold each other close snuggles. The kind where I kiss on his face and whisper how much I love him he hugs me tightly. How nothing else will start his day off right quite like our morning snuggles.

I love that my Asyraf still wants me close when he is not sure of things. How even as he struggles to discover who he is apart from me, he still wants to know what I think. How after a day of "I'm old enough to do it by myself", when he can't sleep that night, he wants me to lay down with him and just talk about things. How my being with him is still the ultimate in comfort to him.

Hmmmm, I guess maybe I am not doing so badly at this mothering thing after all ;).

Mamafai wrote @ 9:31 AM |

..: About Afzal Again... :..

We had a small birthday celebration for Afzal this evening. It's been a long day for me. It started about 8pm and ended about 11pm and I've just finished cleaning up. Dh had turned in much much earlier as he wasn't feeling that well. The kids enjoyed themselves very much - as usual.

Thanks to all who had given Afzal his birthday presents. Especially to CT (I love the Esprit Jacket!!!), Anis for the remote car, Along for the school desk and the rest for the $$$$.

Click here for more.

Mamafai wrote @ 12:39 AM |

Thursday, June 10, 2004

..: Happy Birthday Afzal! :..

Today is a special day. Today we celebrate the amazing day that Afzal was born. Today, my youngest son turns 2years old. And let me tell you, this is a kid after my own heart. He loves the attention that is given to him.

He is one of the funniest and a very compassionate kid I know. You just smile knowing he is around. He is happiness and energy and love all wrapped into this amazing boy. I am so proud of him I could burst. There is just so much about him that warms my heart. The desire to go on and on about how much I cherish him is overwhelming.

We will have a small family celebration for him tomorrow night.

Happy Birthday, Afzal. Mama loves you so very much!

Mamafai wrote @ 12:23 PM |

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

...: Heart problem? :..

Have you ever had one of those moments when something is said to you that just breaks your heart? Shatters it into a million pieces? And no matter what is said following that comment, you just can't put it all back together again. Your heart lays there like Humpty Dumpty and it too has no hope of all the kings horses and all the kings men putting it back together again. You can get the pieces gathered up. By talking, you can slowly piece them together, but when all is said and done, there is still one tiny fragment that is missing. Therefore, it is just never quite the way it was. Eventually, this hole is filled. I don't know if it heals itself over time or if something else comes along in it's place to fill that gap. I suppose it is both.

And yet neither.

Although the heart may look healed, that one tiny fragment mattered. It made a difference. When it is changed, it is changed forever. Sometimes those changes are good. Better. Stronger. Like a patch to cover and protect. Maybe that patch makes it more beautiful. Sometimes the changes are more like scar tissue. Reminders of old wounds. More sensitive. Easily irritated. I would like to say that this happens only a handful of times, but we all know it happens much more frequently. Each of us bear the patches and the scars of words that have changed us. They make us who we are. I guess I am just learning to ride with it. To not curse the scars or try to remove the patches. They are what they are. They are what makes my heart what it is...who I am.

I hope that your life finds you with more patches than scars, though.

Mamafai wrote @ 12:46 PM |

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

..: Maternal Confession! :..

I have a confession to make. I am ashamed to admit it. I said something to my child that I swore I would never say. (While we are on the topic, it really is important that you realize the dangers of saying "I'll never..." when it comes to childrearing. Seriously. There are factors and fates at work that will immediately align things just right so that before you know it, you will discover that you have in fact done your "I'll never..." proclamation. Trust me. This is a proven scientific fact:)

Okay, on to the confession.

Please don't judge me harshly. I mean, it was bound to slip out accidentally. Ready?

Asyraf was begging and bugging and begging again to do something that just was not going to happen. I gave him legitimate reasons. The bugging continued. I gave him logical reasons. The begging ensued. I flat out said that it was not going to happen. And then it began. The "why nots". I truly despise the "why nots", especially after I have given an answer. After being driven to the edge of sanity, I actually looked my dear sweet boy, my precious offspring and said to him...

"Because I am the Mother. That's why!"

Oh sure, you think you're above it. You swore it would never happen to you. And there it is. Out there with no way to snatch it back. Like a cartoon bubble hanging over you in silence. Ohhhh, the shame!

Mamafai wrote @ 12:01 AM |

Sunday, June 06, 2004

..: Miss him :..

Missing Asyraf badly now. We went over to big bro's place to visit little Iman this evening and Asyraf decided to stay overnight there. This is the first time my little guy is away from me. He never wants to sleep at someone's place without us. Not even at MIL's.

He did ask me if I am gonna be sad when he is not around. I didn't answer him cause I didn't want him to know I am sad. I wonder what has made him decided to do that today and I dunno why I am feeling so sad and missing him badly. :( Dh seems ok with it and told me not to keep calling him but I feel different without him around. I think I am gonna call him now - again (6th time)! - Just wanna be sure he is ok...

Mamafai wrote @ 9:07 PM |

..: Simple Essentials :..

Bought a pair of shoes this afternoon that inspired me to create this skin.

Its up on blogskins now.

Mamafai wrote @ 1:07 AM |

Saturday, June 05, 2004

..: Being Fat :..

You know, I'm really tired of listening to skinny women moan about how fat they are. I'm not talking about people who are talking about eating better for their health. No, I'm talking about these scrawny little women who look like they haven't had a good meal since they left their mom's breast who are forever pissing and moaning about how disgusting they are. They're disgusting alright, just not for the reasons that they think. I'm so sick of hearing about these skinny people whining about being fat.

What?? You have a little cellulite on your thighs? Big deal... stop wearing mini skirts and no one will see your cellulite. Problem solved. Btw, FYI, you could lose another 20kg and that cellulite will still be there. Cellulite is like roaches after a nuclear fallout, everything else is gone but the roaches are still there!

What?? Your boyfriend thinks that your waist is starting to take on its own zip code? Tell him to fly kite and go out and find a real man. A real man who will appreciate you for the real woman that you are. If your man wants a woman who is nothing but skin and bones, send him a skeleton! Believe it or not, there are men out there that appreciate a woman for more than her weight.

What?? You can't fit into a size 10? Well neither can most women so get over it. Your body was probably not MEANT to slip into a size 10. You are a grown woman for goodness sake... not a 12 year old. Grown women are meant to have curves, hips, breasts and all that good stuff. You can diet until you starve yourself to the grave if your body is not mean to be a size 10, it's not going to be a size 10 so you might as well eat, drink and be happy!

I have made the commitment to eat and drink better. I will never be a size 10. I don't want to be a size 10. I do want to be healthy. I know that I will never go "thin enough" for Mrs Universe Pageant. And that's just fine with me! I don't ever plan on gracing the cover or even the back pages of those female magazines. I just want to be healthy. Shouldn't we all want to be healthy? And you can be healthy and weigh 70Kg if that is what your body was meant to weigh.

As cheesy as it sounds, beauty starts from within and if you hate yourself now, you will always hate yourself no matter how much you weigh. You need to start working on the inside and loving who you are before you can love what you look like!

Mamafai wrote @ 7:47 PM |

..: Happy Birthday!!! :..

Happy Birthday Dear, I love you!!!

Mamafai wrote @ 12:25 AM |

Thursday, June 03, 2004

...: Unpleasant Message :..

Saw this on my tagboard this morning - "Trisharatna: Bitch!" Was alerted by darling baby via sms last night but I was halfway through my dreamworld and was too tired to check my blog.

There is only one thing I want to say about this. Whoever is doing this, if you have any grudges with me do take it up personally. This is totally unpleasant and very childish. As far as I am concern I have done nothing offensive to anyone and if this is a joke, its not funny at all!!!

Mamafai wrote @ 10:51 AM |

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

..: Confession :..

I have a confession to make. hehehe!

I didn't wake up today until 12pm today. Granted, I went to sleep last night around 3am, but I haven't slept in until after 12pm in years. I may have been a teenager, I'm not sure. As much as I don't want to be, I am a morning person. Even on weekends I don't ever sleep in after 10am.

So I sort of feel like my whole day is gone.

That's okay, I guess. I wasn't going to do much with it anyway :)

I manage to complete the blogskin for Trina. Dh saw all the skins I made last night and suggested I start charging it if people wanna use it. Nah... told him I am just happy when I see people using it and I am doing it only for fun.

Mamafai wrote @ 2:25 PM |

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

..: Picnic :..

We went on a picnic today at East Coast with the kids, MIL, dh's niece and nephew. Had a wonderful timeThe kids just love to run around and playing football. I just simply enjoy the gorgeous weather today. Nothing like some special time spent with my kids. They always manage to make me laugh no matter how sour of a mood I may be in.

After having such a great day with the kids, we came home and I put the kids down for a nap. Looking at them, I kept seeing them running and playing today, thinking of how much they mean to me, how I would lay down my own life for them. I know I've said this million of times but I just can't help it... I just love my kiddos!

Click here for more pictures.

Mamafai wrote @ 11:58 PM |

...: Mom and Son :..

I rolled over this morning in bed and was greeted by a sweet grinning cherub whose face just lit up as soon as he noticed my eyes were open and on him. I couldn't resist the urge to sweep my Afzal up and hold him up in the air above me while I was on my back. I made little kissy noises, I made little funny faces and we laughed together- mama and son. It was a wonderful way to wake up.

That is until mid-laughter, while my mouth was wide open, my little sweet grinning cherub decided to spit up. Right into my open mouth :)

And now I still have that nasty, foul taste in my mouth!

Mamafai wrote @ 10:14 AM |